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AFTER SELENAS SURGERY ( sorry for the confusion)


I can't believe I'm alive and okay. I didn't think I'll survive this battle.

I kept this secret because scared of everyone's reaction

Scared of the hate

I tried to keep my life private but projects and my work is keeping me from doing that

I'm just resting now, getting ready to go back to my reality

I know I'm going to experience side affects, but I don't know if I can handle it

This is too much for me, but I need to toughen myself and remember all my priorities

Moving on is a hard thing to do

Trust me

All this years, I tried to pretend I'm ok. I tried to pretend I'm better off without him. That I can survive without him

But I was wrong

He held up my universe, rather he became my universe

Cause everything always connect to him.

As if almost everything reminds me of him

His laugh, his smile, his actions

I should really stop

I know he's not thinking of me

And that hurts me

I'm here just walking, thinking, clearing up my mind

Thinking of all the things that's happening

I'm now walking to a coffeehouse

Everything here is calling me, calming me in every way. It's very cozy and welcoming.

There's not a lot of people here which makes me kind of happy but then confuses me.

Waiting for my order, a caramel macchiato.

I sit down still admiring the place

I also notice a book laying on the table. "Pillow Thoughts"

I immediately open it and fell in page 46

" It will catch you off guard one day. You'll be surprised by it you may even lose your concentration. One moment you are living idly by and the next they are on your mind nearly every moment. You'll lose sleep over the next time you'll hear their voice. You might even find yourself daydreaming about a future together. One day you are ordering coffee every morning and the next you can't even order coffee without thinking about ordering theirs too."

This is weird

I can relate to every words of this book

Immediately falling in love with this book

I didn't notice they're calling my name until now

" Order for Marie" the barista called

I straightaway went to get my coffee

" Can I buy this book?" I asked out of nowhere

Even I don't know what I'm doing

" well you seem to love it a lot it's yours now. Don't worry about" he said

" no it's ok, I can pay" I insist

" well I will not take the offer so you can go now and enjoy the book" he said

" oh and have a good day" he added

That boy is so strange

I don't even know if I'll say thank you or not

Or consider him a nice person or not

Well he gave me this book for free, but he also kicked me out so

Ughh boys are so confusing

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