Don't Say It's All For The Better.

Chapter 16

Katie’s P.O.V.

I’m running after Max to try and stop him. I mean we’ve only just gotten together and I’m worried that now is the end of it. I really think we could have something special but I swear if that Jackie has ruined it I will be so pissed off with her! Urgh, she really makes me angry! I apologised, what more can I do?

“Max!” I shout running after him and then he stops and turns to face me where I finally catch up to him. Finally! “Listen just let me explain” I begin whilst also trying to catch my breath back.

“Let you explain what exactly? That you almost killed not only Siva’s cousin but also who could possible be the love of Jay’s life?”

“Max that’s not fair! That was three years ago, I’ve changed!”

“Well you obviously haven’t changed enough to have been able to tell me this before. Or were you not going to tell me?”

“Obviously I was going to tell you at some point I just didn’t think now would be the right time!”

“Oh were you worried our relationship would be ruined? Well let me tell you it is! I’m finished with you!” He shouts and begins to walk off. I immediately break down in the middle of the road.

“Max please, please don’t do this!” I shout through mouthfuls of tears. He stops and turns to look at me sat in the middle of the road.

“Fine, I’ll take you back.” He begins. I immediately get happy and I’m so stupid that I don’t even think there’ll be a catch! “Oh don’t get happy yet!” He continues and my smile begins to fade. “I’ll take you back, only IF you can sort things out with Jacky. If not, then we’re over, for good.” he tells me. I suddenly feel empty inside.

“But Max, that’s not possible, you know she doesn’t want anything to do with me and after I betrayed her trust twice before she’s not going to be willing to trust me again is she?!” I tell him, standing up to face him.

“Well that’s something you’re going to have to sort out. If you’re that desperate to get back with me then you’ll find a way. Besides if I did take you back and you hadn’t sorted things out with Jacky then it will be awkward in the future wont it? I mean think about dinners and parties and like Siva’s wedding to Amy? Talk about awkward and I don’t think I could put up with that. If you want me back then you’ll find a way but I can’t trust you until she can trust you. I know that sounds stupid but Katie I feel like I’m falling in LOVE with you. I don’t want to fall in love with you to be hurt. You may say you wont but lets face it, you were hardly going to tell me what you did and that’s made me lose my trust with you. So for now it’s over, I’m sorry” He says and walks off leaving me stood on my own in the middle of the road with tears streaming down my face.

How could he expect me to do this? After all those years does he really think I’m going to be able to patch things up with Jacky? She is clearly never going to trust me again! In fact I don’t even trust myself right now. Even though I had basically only known Max about a week and a half I really felt like I was beginning to fall in love with Max. Now he’s finished with me and the fact there’s a very little possibility I will be able to sort things out with Max makes me feel empty, numb. I feel like there’s something really there in the deep pit of my stomach. Like a forever on going hole. I can’t explain it properly but I kind of know how Jacky felt when she caught me and Harry. I would never EVER wish this on anyone and the thought I ever made someone feel like that makes me feel sick. I know now I have to find a way to patch things up with Jacky whether it will sort my relationship out with Max or not. Even if my sorting things out with Jacky doesn’t sort things out with Max, I don’t care. I feel really bad for what I put her through. I completely feel guilty, infact I don’t feel anything because I’m numb. It’s like there’s no emotion inside me left to show or feel which makes me 100% determined to sort things out with everyone.