Episode One

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It's like 11:14 PM right now and I've been feeling Harry Potter vibes this whole month, so I guess that's what I'm going to be talking about. Buckle up, daddy-o, because this is about to be a long ride.

First of all, I would like to say I adore Harry Potter. I also am so sad that I had to finish it in such a short time. Give me back my seventh grade, please and thank you.

I've actually been thinking about this for a long time. I know this idea has already been established and everything, but I just want to write about it, so don't come at me with that, "You haven't realized this already?" because I will block you.

Anyway, back to the discussion. I came up with the conclusion that Harry Potter, the book series itself, is hella fucked up. Let me further elaborate on why the hell I feel this why and why many others may feel the same.

Let's explore exhibit A. Harry Potter's parents both died at the same time. I don't think everyone has grasped that idea that a child lost both of his parents in one night. Yes, it happens every day in real life, and that, too, is fucked up. His parents (and also many other parents) were murdered. Lily was begging with her life to Voldemort to not kill Harry after realizing that her husband, James Potter, died. She probably even heard his body falling to the ground. However, Voldemort, being Voldemort, paid no attention to her cries and killed her when he wasn't even supposed to. Killing this infant was so important to him that he betrayed his loyal friend's (Snape's) trust and in the process killed Lily and James Potter.

It's not only the fact that Harry's parents died but also, after they did, Dumbledore knowingly put him in an abusive household where throwing pans at heads was a norm for our poor Harry. Even after McGonagall's protests, he proceeded to place him in that very house. Harry could have grown up with loving witches and wizards around him, but instead, he was forced to grow up in a neglected childhood without any love whatsoever. He had to watch Dudley grow up the way he did. He slept in a cupboard under the stairs, for God's sake. If they could have given him Dudley's playroom after the "Yer a wizard, Harry" incident, then they could have given it to him before the fact had been clarified.

Moving on to exhibit B. Hogwarts is actually a very terrifying place. A girl died in the bathroom and no one knows who killed her? Oh, well, let's carry on with our lives. What's this? People are getting petrified from left and right and we don't have the slightest clue as to who it might be? Kids, carry on with your studies, lol. Oh, gosh. Another student from Hogwarts died? Fuck that, you guys carry on with your lives. And are you scared of teachers neglecting your worry and torturing you because you said something that the frog faced bitch didn't agree with? Then, Hogwarts isn't for you. All in all, Hogwarts was a danger to all the students. Literal children were forced to a fight a war they didn't even expect or prepare for. Incompetent teachers such as Umbridge and Lockhart were given place to lead these children and their placement as leaders only caused the children to suffer more then they already have.

Every. Single. Year. There was some kind of problem that could have led to the demise of hundreds of innocent kids. In the first year, you had this creepy ass teacher with Voldemorts face at the back of his head and yeah, he's trying to kill you. In the second year, six kids are petrified and your best friend's sister gets brainwashed and then captured. In the third year, you're being attacked by dementors left and right and also, did I mention that a psycho broke out of prison (I know Sirius is not a psycho, he was just thought of it at the moment). In the fourth year, Voldemort shows himself and has his henchman kill one of your dearest friends in front of you. In your fifth year, an evil frog faced bitch takes control of the school, tortures her students, and disregards your deepest fears only to be dragged into the woods by centaurs (I mean, hell yes, fucking die, you ugly bitch, but God knows what happened to her). In your sixth year, you have your precious headmaster murdered by one of your other teachers.

It's just one big mess all together.

Now here we have exhibit C. SLAVERY. LITERAL. SLAVERY. House-elves were treated as trash throughout every part of the book. I mean, how can you look at those cute little creatures and think it's okay to torture them and use them as you see fit. They didn't bathe, they didn't have normal fitting clothes, they were used to their masters' beatings. Let's take our most precious House-elf and let's think about him for a second.

He was so shocked, so taken a-back, that a human (Harry Potter) was being decent towards him that he started banging his head on anything he could find because he felt that he, as a lowly House-elf, did not deserve such treatment even though he did nothing wrong. He grew up in a household full of Malfoy's. Think of how much torture he was put through, how used to he got to the slavery. Now think of how other Elves had it worse. There's a 100% chance that there are families even worse than the Malfoy's. They, as a species, had to go through this kind of treatment their whole lives.

No one, except for our beautiful Hermione, cared about it and no one, except for our beautiful Hermione, tried to do anything about it.

Then we have exhibit D. There was rape. Almost twice in this supposed "child's book." Remember Voldemort's mom? Remember love potion? Yeah, now put that psychotic lovesick bitch and a love potion together and what d'ya get?! A rapist! See, what happened was, Merope was in love with Tom, Tom was in love with some other chick. Long story short, Merope drugged him with a love potion which ended up with a marriage and obviously, sex. It was without his consent. In real life, if we drug someone's drink and if we force them to have "contact" with us, we'd probably be in jail right now (unless you had some kind of privilege).

HOW DO YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT? Tom Riddle was just like, "Oh," and peaced the fuck out like it was nothing. I don't even know how put this one into words. Like, it's so disgusting and so unexpected that this would happen in this particular book. Merope raped Tom Riddle. Not only that, but she was so broken up over this guy that she basically killed herself instead of at least raising her son a little, like God damn, Merope, get ya priorities sorted out. You stole someone's life away from them, maybe even their innocence. Now, you're not even giving your son a chance?

I said, almost twice though. This wasn't the only incident where love potions were involved. Remember Romilda Vane? Yeah, remember that one scene where Ron ate the chocolates she sent to Harry? Well, there ya go, another ditzy female type character with stupid ideas. Ron actually almost died. I was about to fuck that bitch up, my God.

Anyway, I'm way too lazy to continue on. So stay tuned, babes. I'll bring you more later. Unless you don't want anymore. Then leave, you're not needed, but I still love you.

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