This Moment

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*Ironically enough, while finishing up this chapter, Sam Smith "Stay with me" played on Pandora. Do with that info what you will.
<3 <3 <3 <3

The cement bench was cool against my jeans as I sat waiting for Levi to show up.

I ended up here a full twenty minutes before we agreed to meet, mostly because I would have over thought myself into not going at all if I didn't just leave.

I had to come.

This could either go really good or really bad, but I don't want the negative outcome to be because I chickened out.

I can't seem to stop my leg from bouncing as I watch the sun begin to set behind the trees. It's a beautiful sunset and on any other day might serve to relax me, but not today.

Today I'm a raging sea of emotions that has left a hurricane brewing in my stomach.

Hurricane Levi.

The closer it gets to the time we said we'd meet, the worse the hurricane gets. I try to push the nerves away. Try to focus on anything other than Levi.

But like a carousel, my mind brings him around again.

I can't deny the attraction to him. I had tried to run from it, buried it deep and called it something else but a rose is still a rose no matter what you call it.

No matter what I did, Levi was always there, dancing around the edges of my mind. Always within sight, but never actually in my reach.

I breathe out a long breath, willing myself to relax just as the park lamps flick on. There had been a few others milling about the park when I first got here, but now it seems like everyone has moved on.

"Brandon," my heart jolts as I snap my eyes to meet Levi's.

Slowly my eyes rake over him, taking in how good he looks tonight in a dark flannel, left unbuttoned with a black V neck underneath. His dark washed jeans fit him perfectly and I have to mentally scold myself for staring a little too long.

"Hey," I cringed slightly at how stupid that sounded.

Of all the things I could have said, I went with hey?!

Damn, I'm lame.

I stood and dusted off my jeans a little as Levi closed the last remaining steps between us. The hurricane picks up speed in my stomach as I realize that I'm not sure what to do now.

Do we shake hands? Bro Hug? High-Five?

The options alone nearly overwhelm me, so before I can do something stupid, I stuff my hands in my jean pockets.

An awkward silence surrounds us like a fog in the air as we both stand there. I want so badly to know what he is thinking in this exact moment.

Is he wondering, like me, how to recapture the moment at the batting cages? Is his heart feeling like it's going to beat out of his chest any minute?

Am I the only one who feels like he might throw up from nerves?

"Look, what happened at the batting cages yesterday," Levi starts, his hand running through his short hair as he lets out a breath, "I should have... I mean I didn't want to seem,"

He lets out another frustrated breath and looks towards the park on his left, shifting form one foot to another.

My heart drops to the bottom of my stomach and without thinking I move to sit on the bench again. All air is knocked from my lungs and a bitter laugh leaves my lips as the realization crashes around me.

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