While calum is blacked out, I quickly tie him to the bed, kind of like how they nailed Jesus to the cross except when his feet spread.
I wait for calum to wake up, and as he slowly opens his eyes, he wakes out with confusion.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" calum says as I pull out a pair of scissors.
I cut calums jeans off, and his boxers, and getting close to the truth: "is calums dick brown or yellow"
as I cut his boxers i seemed to have cut a chunk of his penis off, and he starts screaming.
calum: WHAT THE FUCK OMFG OMFG OMFG
i told him I was sorry but he didn't take my apology serious