Chapter 27

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I walked inside the hall. I looked at Alec and my eyes widened when I saw him in a suit. It was my first time. He always wears black boring t-shirts. This was the first time that I saw him wearing something other than that and it honestly suited him so much.

Luke, Izzy, Jace and my mother went to sit down and I walked over to Alec, who was standing and waiting with one of the silent brothers. I had no idea what their names were. It was kind of confusing because they all looked the same. Jace told me that brother Zachariah was going to lead the ceremony.

I felt my hands sweating a bit and I was begging the angel that we did not have to hold hands or something because it would be a embarrassment for me. I looked up at Alec, who gave me a small smile and I felt like I was going to faint because of these feelings inside me.

"Today we gathered up together as Alexander Gideon Lightwood and Clarissa Adele Fairchild are becoming each other's parabatai." Brother Zachariah said. Alec was looking at brother Zachariah so I decided to do the same thing. I did not want to look stupid in front of everyone because I was pretty sure that some people here were laughing behind my back.

"You may stand in the middle of the circle and hold each other's hand." Brother Zachariah said and my eyes widened. My hands are sweating and Alec will feel that. My cheeks were burning up and I knew that my cheeks were red. This was horrible.

Alec and I stood in the middle of the circle and held each other's hand tight. We both looked at each other and I couldn't help to feel the butterflies in my stomach. This was so intimidate.

"You may speak out your oaths." Brother Zachariah said. I held his hands tight and looked deep in his eyes.

"Entreat me not to leave thee." I spoke out and right after I spoke my words out the circle among us started to fire up. It was like walls build among us, so people couldn't hurt us.

"Or return from following after thee." Alec spoke out and gave me a small smile.

"For whither thou goest, I will go," I said.

"And where thou lodgest, I will lodge." Alec said. The heat around us was getting hotter and I could see the sweat on Alec his forehead.

"Thy people shall be my people, and thy god my god. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried." I said and it made feel anxious when we already spoke about our deaths. I couldn't imagine him to die...

"The Angel do so to me, and more also, If aught but death part thee and me." Alec said and with those last words the flames stopped and now we could see everyone around us. I felt slightly different but I knew that our ceremony wasn't over yet. The parabatai rune...

"Now you must draw each other's parabatai rune." Brother Zachariah said. Alec took his stele and came closer to me. My heart started to beat faster but I did make him realise it that he made me feel nervous.

"Where do you want the rune?" Alec said. I point at my chest and he did not even think twice and start drawing the rune. I grunted softly when he started drawing it. It was a horrible pain. I could feel Alec his energy entering my body. It felt so weird.

"Where do you want it?" I asked when he was finished drawing my rune. He held his t-shirt up and I could see a empty spot. I nodded and drew the parabatai rune on his waist. Alec grunted and flinched for a second but than controlled himself.

Now I was feeling overwhelmed with all those emotions. I could sense Alec and I knew I had to get used to this. It was like the half of Alec was inside me and it probably was so.

"Your hearts beat now as one. You are now each other's parabatai." Brother Zachariah said and I smiled. The rune was still burning up and it was itching a lot. I could also sense the pain of Alec his rune. I looked over at him and I couldn't tell from his facial expression if he was happy or not.

"You must remember. No parabatai must be romantically involved. If so you will be deruned." Brother Zachariah said and I just managed to stop myself from gasping out loud. I looked over at Alec, who didn't seem surprised by what brother Zachariah just told us.

I felt disappointed, sad, confused but most of all I felt like I had lost something. I felt like I had lost the hope of getting together with Alec. Even if something would be going on between us we wouldn't be allowed to be because we would be thrown out of the shadow world. I was so stupid for thinking that I even had a chance together with him. Alec was clearly not interested in me and I was just fooling myself.

Now I understand why Jace wasn't happy about it because he knew this.

I saw everyone walking towards us and I could see from my brother's facial expression that he wasn't quite happy about my reaction. I gave him a small smile to reassure him that I was alright but who was I going to fool? He knew everything about me. He knew I had feelings for Alec and that I hoped that Alec would care for me as we became parabatai but the truth is now that I wasn't happy at all with this.

I couldn't be this close to him but yet so far away... It would kill me inside out.

"It feels amazing right?" Izzy asked the both of us with a big smile on her face and I nodded.

"I never knew that your emotions were so complicated." Alec spoke out of nowhere and looked at me. I widened my eyes and hoped that he did not figure out that I had feelings for him. I mean, could he know that? I was fucked up right now.

"I guess, everyone's feelings are complicated." Jace answered for me and I thanked him by nodding at him. He gave me a small smile and Alec decided to not talk anymore about it.

"It feels weird. It's like I can feel every little thing he feels." I spoke out to Jace as Alec and Izzy both walked away. He chuckled and smiled.

"It is a pretty amazing feeling. You just need to get used to it." He answered me back and I nodded. He was right. I just needed to get used to it. It was all new to me and even to Alec.

"He can't know that I have feelings for him right?" I asked a little afraid. He shook his head.

"He will sense that you love him but knowing Alec I don't think he will think any further as a friend. He is just like that." Jace said and I nodded. I was a bit hurt by what Jace just told me because I didn't wanted to be just friends but I knew that I had no other choice now than just to be his friend.

"Don't worry about getting deruned. If you guys love each other and I mean truly love each other than no angel can stop you. Besides that Clary, you are an angel yourself. You are the legend of every history. The silent brother nor the clave can ever derune you. Even if they wanted to. They need you." Jace said and I smiled. It was just amazing how Jace knew about what I was thinking of.

"You are the best brother, do you know that?" I asked and he smiled.

"Of course I am. I mean look at me." Jace said and I playfully slapped him on his shoulder.

Alec and I were now connected to each other. We had each other's knowledge, powers and feelings and if I need to be honest. It terrified me more than anything. I did not knew how I needed to act around him...

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