Winter

13.

Going home after all of this didn't seem right. Walking to my apartment after being a government fugitive for a few days was foreign. My room was oddly still. My shield and suit were folded on my bed, thanks to Natasha. I sat down, holding my necklace, which magically appeared. I assume Steve found it. I didn't know if I wanted to put it back on. I failed him. I failed Bucky. He disappeared again. If he was hiding now, I would never find him again. I felt like an absolute disaster.

" Hey, Mar." Steve knocked on my doorframe, " How are you feeling?"

" Better. A lot better."

" The doctor called. He said if the swelling flares up again, which it won't, to call him. He also said the stitches should come out naturally, but don't reopen anything."

" I know the drill. I've had my fair share of ass-whooping."

He came in and sat down next to me, gently touching around where I was the most bruised, " You're sure there's nothing?"

" Stevie," I said, " He said it 70 years ago, and his son said it since we came back, I heal just as fast as I did back then."

He laughed, but he obviously didn't think anything was funny, " It's been a little while since you've been hurt. Let me worry."

" Okay. Be big brother for a little while." I smiled softly, " If it makes you feel better."

He stared at the closet where I placed my shield and hung my suit, " Are you picking it back up anytime soon?"

" I think I need to."

" You don't need to do anything."

" Steve." I said sternly, " It's what I was made to do. What I trained for, what we trained for. With or without the Avengers, you and I are a team until the end. Not being by your side when you go on these missions doesn't seem fair."

" You're the most difficult person in the world."

" Am I wrong?"

" Not at all," Steve sighed, " Not having you there isn't right. I don't work as well as I used to without you. No matter how much I hate it, I need you right there with me."

" One of us will always need the other next to them."

He scoffed, " Please, I need you in front of me. You've always been the brave one."

" You're just as brave."

" You were on death's door when I found you. You took a hell of a beating so we could save everyone. That's the bravest thing I've ever seen. You almost died trying to save him-" He stopped himself. 

I realized that Steve was still up there when I fell. On the building, watching me fall into the water. " What happened after I fell?"

" I was out of it. After he shot me, it was taking everything in me to stay up. I begged for him, screamed for him to come back. I blacked out while he was standing over me. I thought he was going to kill me. When I came to he wasn't there. I stumbled down, and eventually found you on the rocks. Your were so pale, clearly bleeding out and your neck was so swollen. I had enough in me to take us both to the hospital. I was pretty banged up from everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. Severe concussion, broken rib, sprained ankle. Bucky shot me, dislocated my shoulder and generally beat me up pretty good. You were 10 times worse. Crushed windpipe. Broken ribs. Dislocated jaw. The knife wound was pretty drug out, pretty deep. Even with the serum, they didn't think you'd bounce back like you did."

" I failed him, Steve." I said softly, " I couldn't hurt him, but I couldn't get through."

" You didn't fail, Marilyn. You did everything you could for him."

" What did they do to him?" I started crying, " My poor James."

Steve pulled me close to him, letting me cry. " We'll get him back. I promise."

" If he's gone, he's gone for good. With HYDRA out of the way, he's either going on a killing streak, or he's going to hide forever."

" He can't hide from us. He won't. If he's alive, you and I are going to find him. I swear to you."

We knew that Steve never broke his promises.