For the first time ever I've felt like maybe Iris can be complete, and fill that missing part of her. Forgiveness is a key to life when you're actually able to do it, forgiving and not forgetting only causes pain. I don't know if Iris can ever 100% forgive her mother, but she should try. I'm not one to take in and believe people right away, but the pain in her mother's eyes made it clear she was very sorry for what she had done.
In a week Iris and I will be going to America to meet with some of her old family, I wonder how she'll react. It hasn't been long since she's lost Johnny and all, this is so much on her. Memories of Johnny are filling my mind right now, the way he cared for me gave me a sense of purpose, it was amazing. what an amazing lad he was, tragic that he's gone. It's always the amazing ones.
"Harry," I hear Iris whisper, as her soft hands make contact with my bare shoulders.
"Yeah," I answer watching the pressure she's adding to my shoulders.
"What's wrong?" She questions and I shake my head.
"Nothing," I respond with a reassuring smile.
Nothing was really wrong, I was just thinking about my father and if I'll ever see him again. I can't say the thought doesn't scare me that he'll die without forgiving me, for something I didn't even do. Jealously is a disease, and it killed me even when I wasn't the person who was jealous. That's one of the things about life I don't understand, taking the fault for things even when it's never your fault. I hate the thought of living with a fear of being blamed for doing nothing, for feeling guilty in times you were innocent.
"What are you thinking about?" She asks looking at me and I take a moment to look into her passionate eyes.
"My dad," I answer honestly nodding and rubbing my feet against the cement.
"I can't say I haven't been thinking about mine," she tells me placing her small hands on my shoulder. "But I need you to know something really important. Life is way shorter than we'd like to think it is, there is so much to do, and if we focus on one part of it, we'll miss out on all of the parts of it." She explains to me and I nod taking in her words.
"What does that have to do with this though?" I question trying to see her point.
"Look at you. You're sitting here, worried about your father who by himself chose to not have you as part of his life, and let me tell you... that's a huge loss for him." She says leaving a peck at my check. The moment her soft lips make contact with my skin, I close my eyes and enjoy the moment of her.
"I haven't ever seen a human like you," I smirk pointing my finger at her.
"I haven't seen anyone like you either," she softly smiles back.
"But I need you to tell me something," I say looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"Which is?" She questions playing with the extra skin around her nail.
"Is that Iris I met a few months ago the same one I'm talking to today?" I ask with the hope of an explanation. I've been thinking of this for so long. Is that girl I met a few months even her? Was it all an act? To me, it felt reasonable that it was, in fact, an act, but the truth lies in her.
"I don't know who she was, but I'm trying to forget about her." She shakes her head and frowns.
I hate seeing her frown when I first met Iris I thought it was nearly impossible I'll ever see her smile without being sarcastic as hell. I only want to see her smile, her frown pulls down on my heart.
"But you know what Harry? I'm glad you met me at that time," she takes a moment to pause. "I'm glad because I now know you'd accept me for who and what I want to be. I'm glad we went through some hell before we hit this semi-heaven we're in at the moment." She explains and a smirk grows on my face.
Iris was right, we've been through it what she feels is all. I wish she was there for me when all the sh*t in my past happened, I would've had a hand to hold, a person to feel with. I thought I had that I really did, but the person I was with at the time did me dirty, and I'm glad as hell they are the fu*k out of my damn life.
"I loved you the day I met you... something about you killed me. The little black dress you wore, the way you walked, the damn way you punched that old man, it was all just something amazing." I laugh at the memory of her hitting the man right where it hurts.
"That old guy was so creepy," she laughs along with me.
"Sometimes I feel like the older people get the dumber they get," I add on to her words and she nods of agreement.
"I coulda," she says before we're interrupted by her mother opening the door.
"Iris come here for a second," her mother says signaling her hand for Iris to come in.
"What is it?" She asks shaking her head.
"I need to talk to you about something," her mother replies to her.
I could tell by the look on her mother's face, something was up, and it wasn't anything to be happy about. Iris didn't seem to take the hint, or maybe she did but wasn't as worried as I was. As much as Iris tries to be cooperative with her mom, sometimes her harsh side just slips out. It's totally okay to feel anger at what her mother did, and I think her mother is doing a good job in not being too hard on her daughter. I feel terrible that this has happened to her, it caused her soul to break, being young and just dealing with other peoples problems affecting your life, it's disgusting.
Here we are guys I've finally been able to get back on track with this story! It's been hard not going to lie, but I've got it just where I want it to be now. I made sure to get this updated for you guys today, and I'll be updating 3 days in a row leading up to Christmas! I've also been working on my newest book "Be My Something", which I honestly really really really love writing! So make sure to check that out, comment and vote on here as well!