Promises and Agreements

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 I don’t know what to do.

I mean, what do you suggest? I can’t ask T if what Camilla said is true—it’s too humiliating. And even though he’s been blowing up my phone, I won’t respond. I’m hiding out here in Houston, trying not to be seen. Trying to get away from everything and everyone.

It’s hard though.

I rented a huge hotel and spent my last money on a gynecologist who told me that yes, I was pregnant, and that I was due in five months. I’m so scared.

Anyway, I’m broke now. When I was with T, I had money because he gave me money. Now, there’s no way I’m gonna make it without him. But I have too much pride to call him—I need to keep acting upset with him for a little while.

I’m shacked up in this little hotel, waiting for something to happen. For some money to come, for T to come rescue me, for Camilla to hurry up and DIE, for my mother to come stroke my head and tell me, “Everything’s going to be okay Jaydi,” just something!

The hotel I’m in is nice. It has nice bedrooms, good service, and it’s in a nice area. It’s really quiet though. So at a time like this, when I’m feeling lonely, it isn’t good for me to be in a place where there are less than 200 people around. But, if I was in a busy area, I’d have to avoid paparazzi. And even if I avoided them, they’d take pictures of me, put it on the news, and T would know where I am and come rescue me.

And even though I want him to rescue me, I don’t want him to at the same time.

All the hotel room’s walls are made of fake wood. There’s a fireplace in each room. The beds aren’t covered in silky white sheets like they were when I was in T’s hotel room a few days after I first met him. The beds now are covered in thick quilts and sheets beneath. The season has changed. It’s getting cold. It’s getting closer to Autumn. And now a new problem arises—school.

I can’t see myself going back to school. Not after all that’s happened this summer. But I know I should. I remember all those times Mama used to talk to Keron and I about the importance of staying in school.

I’m lying down under the quilt in the master bedroom. The sun is shining into the room. I usually like it when the sun shines like this right before it sets. But now? I wish the sun would just drop to the bottom of the universe, the moon would get shot in the face, the stars would get jumped by some Bloods (the gang), and the whole freaking world would just end.

That’s when I got a knock on my door.

Of course, I was happy. Finally, someone to talk to! But then I got scared. Who could it be? Then I got angry. Like, who has the nerve to bother me right now? And then I laughed at myself. It’s probably just the maid or something.

But no, it’s not a maid. It’s not T either. It’s not my Mama, it’s not Camilla, it’s not Drake, it’s not even Raquan.

It’s Chyna.

At first, I don’t know what to say. What is there to say? I just stand there, surprised.

“Well you gone dumb? Say something yo’!” She says.

“Don’t come up in here talking to me like you run things. ‘Cause you don’t. Anyway, what do you even want?” I ask sternly.

“We need to talk.” Chyna says to me, looking down at the ground. I let her in, and close the door behind her.

“What do we need to talk about?” I ask with my hand on my hip.

“What hospital you wanna go to when you give birth?” She asks.

“Why?”

“’Cause I wanna come with you. I’m pregnant too, honey.”

I’m gonna kill T. Like, brutal murder and all.

So, me and Chyna talked. Apparently, that little get-together that she and T had made her pregnant. So T has two pregnant, angry girls on his hands. And even though we used to be enemies, know we’re trying to get along so we can go find T and destroy his life.

“I can’t believe he didn’t ask. I mean, he clearly knows he didn’t protect that night. He’s avoiding his problems.” Chyna complains to me.

“I know, right? He’s such a jerk.” I say. We’re sitting on the bed, watching soaps, like two miserable, sad pregnant girls.

I don’t want T to rescue me anymore.

“So when are you due?” She asks.

“The doctor said I might have the baby in December. What about you?” I tell her.

“Same. I’m kind of excited. Won’t it be super-cool to have a baby? I wonder what gender mine is.” Chyna says in an excited tone.

“I don’t know. I’m scared as hell. Like, how am I going to be a mom? You know how many times my Mama told me that the hardest job in the world is motherhood? I don’t want that weight on my shoulders.”

Chyna turned and looked at me with a sincere look in her eyes. “I used to feel the same way you do. Now? I’m good. I’m ready for it. It wasn’t easy getting ready for it, but I am. And I’m going to help you get ready too. We’ll do this together. Deal?”

As much as I used to hate her, she seems like a perfect friend now.

“Deal.”

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