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Daehyun looks as if he's run twice around the earth by the time he drops himself onto the seat across of mine ― the spot which had been previously occupied by Seungmin. His eyes are wide as he tries to catch his breath.
"Oh, wow," he mumbles in between taking deep breaths, commenting on what I'm eating, "very healthy." His fingers make a circle above my choice of food.
"Gee, thanks."
He then takes one last deep breath before finally breathing normally, his red cheeks that had been red from running is slowly turning back to its normal colour and could finally talk without heaving and trying to get enough oxygen into his lungs.
"You will never guess what happened!" Daehyun stares at me with large.
"What?"
"You remember how there's an Olympic scout here today?"
I groan, letting my head drop on to the table and stretch my arms in front of me, dragging them when I sit back up again. "Please don't remind me," I trail my hands down the sides of my cheeks.
Daehyun rolls his eyes and continues on, "too bad too sad, I'm talking about this whether you like it or not."
"Hyunjin is talking to him right now," Daehyun tells me after a while of silence, making my heart jump in both jealousy and surprise. "I overheard them talking, they're planning to take him under training, which made me wonder: did he talk to you too?"
My heart breaks for the millionth time today, more tears ― now of a different reason ― start to pool in the inner corners of my eyes.
"Oh," I head Daehyun mumble to himself, seeing me looking down on my lap and not answering his question.
"Yeah, oh," I say back, my voice cracking a little.
Daehyun doesn't say anything and watches me silently. I can sense him feeling a bit uncomfortable and so, I look at him with a reassuring smile.
"It's okay," I tell him, "there's always next time, right?"
"Yes, there is," he says, sighing, "but are you sure you'll definitely be able to assure yourself that you'll get spotted? Why didn't they reach out to you?"
He's right, in a way. If I don't get spotted now, if the spotter doesn't pick me out now, when else am I going to show the world what I'm capable of?
I should've never played that stupid game of truth or dare.
Stupid, idiot.
Slumping down on my seat, I play around with the leftovers of my tteokbokki, suddenly feeling sick at the sight of it. Honestly, now, I feel weird for even coming here in the first place. Why didn't I just run away and not do the competition if in the end, it'll be like this anyway?
Hyunjin will always be better.
And I should have known, that he will always be the source of my heartbreak anyhow.
Hyunjin will always be better.
He has better skills and capabilities. One time he actually tread water for six minutes straight and he said that's not even his record. He is fast, sleek, and his technique is perfect ― everything an Olympian is.
He has better looks. Boys want to be just like him, girls ― and even other boys -―want to be with him. His eyes are sparkly, warm and innocent. His lips are pink, his cheeks are always dusted with a hint of red, when he smiles, it reaches his eyes and they make the most beautiful shapes a person could have. Like an angel, that's what he's like.
He has a better personality. He's kind and caring and thoughtful. He's full of light and colours, making him outshine the others around him, including me.
I just never thought that a person like him could carve a wound in my heart this deep.
Maybe it's just me over-reacting, making things bigger than it really seem but the amount of pain that something so small could cause, it's disgusting. He could've at least said something to let me know what he thinks instead of leaving me in the dumps.
I feel unwanted, unworthy.
And now, he's making me feel more that way by pushing his way up my dream ladder, not taking me along with him ― the opposite of what we agreed on at the start: that we'd never leave each other behind.
I guess now, I am alone in this. Just me, myself and the road of uncertainty I'm willing myself to walk into.
"Come on, let's not be sad all day," I feel Daehyun wipe a stray tear from my cheek with a tissue, "the sun's out, let's head out and get some fresh air?"
He stands up and offers me his hand. And so, I accept it, smiling to myself a little.
The weather outside is cold and icy, the soft and delicate layers of thin ice start to cover the grass, making it look a little dewy. It's chilly in a way the cold will shoot up your nose and almost sting it, but it's nice and somewhat reassuring.
Our venue is on top of a hill, and if you look from the bottom of the pool, you could see out a small round window on the wall, showing the world outside. Even though it's cold outside, the heated pool is as welcoming as it is on summer days. But if I had stayed inside, I wouldn't notice the view this place has to offer.
In the distance, all I see are bare trees lining the small winding streets leading up to the hill. Cars look small from up here, and I watch them glide along the grey coloured asphalt as they disappear behind another hill in the distance.
The ground is a mix of dark green and light grey due to the snow that had fallen a couple of days ago. The sky is a bit grey as well, but I guess that's what makes this scenery look so breathtaking, the way it could easily make me forget about what happened earlier amazes me, making me appreciate what I'm looking at right now.
"Are you feeling better now?" Daehyun asks from next to me, hands pressed up to his mouth as he breathes on them to blow on heat.
"Yep," I say, a small genuine smile making its way onto my lips.
I hear quick footsteps approaching the both of us from behind me, so I turn around and I'm met by the sight of my two best friends running in my direction.
"Yuri!" Minjee exclaims, jumping on me, almost tackling me to the ground. "You did a wonderful job, my darling! Don't be sad!"
"That stupid Olympic scout is stupid for not talking to you," Jisung scoffs, engulfing me in a hug, "he needs his eyes checked, do you think he'll have time to see the optometrist tomorrow?"
"Probably not," I say, "he's going to be too busy with training Hyunjin."
Minjee slaps my arm, "yah! I know you're disappointed, but please stop viewing it so bitterly."
"In the meantime, you could improve," Daehyun adds, "you can be much much better than Hyunjin by the time the next Olympics come!"
In the corner of my eyes, I could see Hyunjin walking out of the venue along with Seungmin and Chan, his arms crossed and frowning while the other two looked as if they'd rather be anywhere but where they are now.
That's when I realise that maybe Hyunjin isn't always better.
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i feel like this chapter isn't as good as the others hahaha but hey hi! i'm thinking of doing another update tomorrow because i don't know if i can update next week, i have a competition on sunday so... i hope you have a fab saturday! please look forward to another update tomorrow!
