"So, pregnant again huh? How are you feeling?" Cassie asked me as we walked around HomeGoods. I had decided to do some redecorating around the house, but also needed to decorate a room for the new baby. I was now five and a half months pregnant, and unlike my last pregnancy, it was hard to tell. My belly was still relatively small and I hadn't been wearing tight-fitting clothing, there was no way to know by looking at me. I also kept this pregnancy a secret for a little bit longer than I had with the first one. I wanted to wait until the common miscarry period was over like last time, but I also had a lot of anxiety with this pregnancy. For my own piece of mind, I wanted to make sure the baby didn't have any complications before I spread the news. Whether or not something was "wrong" I knew I would have to tell my family, but the confirmation that everything was okay just took a weight off my shoulders.
"I feel great honestly. I've wanted a lot of things in my life, but being a mom has always been very high on my list. You know?" I looked over to see her smiling and nodding and of course I knew she got it. Cassie had suffered many miscarriages after having Khloe and Kaiden, so I know she could relate to my pain.
"Well I'm excited for you. You know James can't wait to see that baby boy. He was devastated after what happened with Aleigha, not only with the loss but because of how it affected you. He really does love you and he feels your pain" She said, again, smiling from ear to ear. "And I love you too" She said choking up and I looked at her in shock
"Ma, what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry." She laughed lightly as she wiped her face "I'm just really happy for you and I'm proud of you. To see how how life has managed to throw so many things at you and you handle them with so much grace and poise, it's beautiful. I'm just really happy you're in our lives and I'm glad that we're so close. I know I can never replace your mom"
"No one could ever replace my mom, but your right up there next to her on the pedestal. From day one you accepted me when you really didn't have to and you've treated me like a daughter ever since that day. We've gotten so close and I appreciate everything you've done for me" I said as I pulled her into a hug and once we pulled apart she started laughing.
"Look at us. Two crazies crying in the middle of the pillow aisle" I joined in her laughter as I wiped my face.
"Well, I'm pregnant. I can blame my hormones, what's your excuse?" I joked as I continued to look through the pillows.
"I don't know. Maybe menopause" she shrugged causing me to burst out laughing.
"Have you thought about how you're gonna decorate the baby's room?"
"I think I'm gonna do an animal theme. Paint some giraffes and stuff on the wall. White, Navy and Grey as the colors." Since our house had so many rooms, I was gonna redecorate one of the guest rooms and turn it into the new baby room. I wasn't ready to just redo Aleigha's room and make it up for someone else. I never wanted it to seem like I was replacing her and we didn't have pictures of her besides the one we took in the hospital, but the room we had ready for her reminded me of what we were ready to go through with her. I couldn't erase that. We would find some use for the room, but it wouldn't be a new baby room."
"Cute. I love it. Have you guys decided on a name yet."
"Yea, were gonna name him Tyson"
"Wow." I giggled because I could hear the slight shock in her voice "So no TJ? I just had a feeling Trey wanted a junior."