Katie Holmes: Broken [Book Two] ( A BBC Sherlock Fanfic)

Chapter 9 A Heart to Heart

Katie's P.O.V

Sherlock closed his eyes and breathed deeply he steepled his hands under his chin and closed his eyes in thought.

"Please let me explain" I begged.

His eyes snapped open and he stared at me with a disappointed look. I took his silence as a yes.

"I was forced to murder those people. If I didn't he would have..." I stopped. I didn't feel very comfortable telling Sherlock that I killed to protect him but he had to know the absolute truth if he he was ever going to forgive me.

"He was going to kill you and every one I love if I didn't follow his orders. I'm so sorry its a stupid explanation"

I bent my head in shame. The images of place faced corpses filled my mind. I shivered as I watched myself pull the trigger and there bodies turn limp. I was in serious trouble I could spend a life sentence in jail for this.

"Katlyn this is serious. If Lestrade finds evidence against you, you could end up in prison" Sherlock sad seriously.

"I know and I'm worried he will find out it was me" I started to panic. My breathing became fast and laboured. My vision started to blur and I heard the words life sentence echo in my mind. A loud crack echoed across the room the slap brought me back to reality.

"Relax if the case is solved then the judge will be on your side James forced you in fact lestrade has him in custody we can force a testimony from him and that will protect you" Sherlock said calmly. His calm tone relaxed me.

"So that case" I said trying to cause a distraction.

Sherlock sighed. "Katie you need some time of after all this. Its not going to be easy looking at corpses from now on until you can control yourself otherwise you will be constantly reminded of wah you did" he said gently.

I stared at him and smiled this is how I always wanted him to be. I wanted him to care and protect me and this was his way of showing it.

"Alright" I agreed.

He raised an eyebrow. "That's it normally you'd be shouting abuse and accusations by now" he said a small smirk tugged at t corner of his lips.

I stuck out my tongue childishly. "Your not going to listen if I try"

"True, oh I'm ordering some Italian food, want anything?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No thanks"

His brow furrowed in concern. "When was the last time you ate"

"This morning I had cereal" I lied. Sherlock sat down next to me and ruffled my curls like he used too when I was little.

"How about pasta its your favorite or lasagna?" He asked ignoring my comment completely.

I groaned inwardly. "Lasagnas fine" I murmured.

He kissed my for head gently. "Good girl" he whispered and left to order food.

As soon as he left, I locked the door and went into my bathroom. I took out my razor that I use for shaving and began to cut my arm. The blood trickled down my arm. My head buzzed in sweet relief as my endorphins kicked in. The momentary high blocked the images and feeling of guilt that suppressed in my mind. Once I calmed down from my high. I cleaned the cuts and rapped bandages around my cuts. I concealed them under a long sleeved Mcfly shirt with a picture of Tom Fletcher and Dougie Poynter on it. I closed my eyes against the invading images of corpses, blood and murder scenes. There was a knock on my door and I quickly washed away the rest of the blood and hid my razor behind the toilet. I jumped on my bed and grabbed a random book opening it on a random page. The door opened and john came in.