"Ill just carry him"

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~~Niall's point of view~~

I woke up after about half an hour. The concert was in 2 hours. I guess they did leave without me. Well i guess I'm better off here. As i said that i heard a faint noise from the room over. I went to the door and listened closely to the sound coming from it. I heard Harry and Liam shhhing the boys. They must have still been here. I had a weird sense of relief. Like not everyone hated me. But then it hit me.

A shooting pain went through my arm. It took me a second to realize. That was my doing. I slid my back against wall next to the door. I brought my head to my knees. I knew i needed to put on a happy face. I needed the boys to think I'm ok. God i hate myself. Why do i have to cause so much trouble all the time. I'm just a sensitive baby. I brushed off these thoughts and walked out. I tried my hardest to ignore the pain in my arm and my knee. Which was still sore. I heard all the boys stumble out of Harry's room where they were all sitting. I met Louis face first.

"NIALL! Your awake!" And then his face dropped and he has a serious look to him. "How are you feeling mate?" I looked at the other boys. Harry was bitting his bottom lip nervously. Liam was fiddling his hands waiting for me to answer and zayn looked at me so intensely it was like he would burn a hole in my soul. "Niall?" Louis face turned very sad. I had to put up a act.

I smiled slightly as much as i could possibly manage. My lip quivered but i don't think they noticed. "Thanks you guys for helping me. You guys are the greatest" i went in the hugged them all. I knew by thanking them they wouldn't see it as a bad thing anymore and think they saved me. When really i was more broken then i have ever been.

All the boys joined in the hug. Well at first not zayn. He held back a little processing what he just saw then joined the hug. he can always see right through me.

After we separated my eyes went to the floor. "Lads... we have a concert to get to!" I said it while shooting up trying my best to fake some sort of confidence. The all shouted back there yeahs! And we ran out the door. I felt relieved they didn't find out. They don't know how much i really truly hate myself. And hopefully they never will.

We went and preformed the concert. The boys kept the assistant manager out of my sight so i didn't have to deal with him. I went out and did my thing. I laughed joked sang. Everything you would think. I even whipped out my dance moves. I needed to make sure that the boys thought i was ok. They needed to believe that nothing was wrong with me. Even though so much is. The concert finally ended and we headed to the van to get home. I put on my sun glasses even though it was pitch black out and rested my head on the window. I wasn't going to sleep but i wanted to avoid communication. I couldn't pretend to be happy much longer. In the car harry was first to talk.

"You think he's actually ok?" He seemed worried.

"Yeah I'm sure he's good. He was acting perfectly normal at the show" Louis added. Everyone seemed to agree with that fact. I'm glad i was able to convince them. But not much after zayn spoke up.

"But you guys know he's the best at hiding it." Everyone looked up at him in confusion. "You guys know he's the most sad. But he's also the best at hiding it." His voice was cool and collected. Like he's been thinking about it for hours. All the boys looked around at each other. They all remained silent not knowing how to respond to it. They all knew it was true. God dammit i have to be really careful now. Even though i planned on not sleeping i slowly drifted into a light sleep on the ride back to the house.

~~ zayn's point of view~~

When we reached the house the boys were debating what to do with Niall.

"Maybe we should wake him?" Louis suggested.
"No no he looks so peaceful. He's had a long day"
"Harry's right waking him is not an option" liam added
"I'll just carry him." All the boys looked at me in shock for a second. I'm usually not one to do the work around here.
"Are you sure zayn? I can carry him" i looked over at liam and nodded.

Everyone moved out of the way while i picked up Niall bridal style. He was so peaceful. He looked like all his problems where gone. I wonder what's actually wrong with him. The other boys were pretty convinced it was a one time thing but i don't think so. I just hope he's ok.

I placed him on his bed and covered his small body

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I placed him on his bed and covered his small body. He wasn't hard to carry. He's not very heavy. Even though he loves food. I chuckled to myself quietly. I left the room with little sleeping Niall in the back of my head and met the boys downstairs. They were all sitting in the living room trying to find a good movie.

"I WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE!"
"LOUIS YOU ALWAYS PICK THE MOVIE!"
I walked over took both movies out of their hands and put in movie.

"HEY! Why do you get to pick" harry was giving me a pouty face but i just glared back at him and sat in the middle of the couch. The other boys came and joined me all sliding next to me on the couch. we were only missing one thing and all of us knew there was a little empty spot.

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