Coffee & Nerves (boyxboy)

[27] Riling Me Up

[STATUS: VERY UNEDITED]

"This is not some game to me. This is not funny." He pauses for a moment. "This- " he gestures to us "-is scary as hell."

As I hear the crack in his voice my heart cracks simultaneously. He's about to remove my legs from around his waist when I grab both sides of his face and turn him toward me.

"Jack." I stare at him straight on. I'm determined to not let him go. I don't skip a beat before continuing.

"You're right. This is scary," I admit honestly.

I bring my left hand under his chin to tilt his head up. "I wasn't laughing at you, Jack," I stress, my voice reaching a higher pitch than what's probably necessary. I use my right hand to gently caress his face as he peers up at me under batted eyelashes. His eyebrows are pinched together and his face muscles working with worry. The utter vulnerability that he's showing me right now is enough to make my heart ache.

"Please just trust me."

He looks directly into my eyes for a moment where I swear to god the world stopped spinning- then he relaxes. "Okay."

I'm slightly taken aback by his response. "Okay," I repeat softly, almost as if to confirm that that's what he actually said and it wasn't just a figment of my imagination.

"Okay," I say again. I let my hands linger on his face a little longer than necessary, trailing my thumb down his cheek to the corner of his lips before pulling away. 

When I say pulling away, I mean pulling my hands away from his face, not anything else because my legs are still hooked around his waist. Although, now that I think about it, I've somehow been pushed back onto my desk. I'm still mostly supported by Jack, but the edge of my desk probably helps alleviate some of the pressure for him. Speaking of pressure...

I don't know what to do next. I don't know what to say or if I should even say anything at all. 

Should I get off of him?

How would I even do that? The logistics are awfully complicated; like, how would I unwrap myself from him without accidentally kicking him in the face? That would kill the mood. But wasn't the mood already viscously murdered? Sometime around when I made things super awkward with my laughing? Ugh, I can't really tell. 

I feel like there's no right thing to do in these situations.

Am I supposed to offer him a cup of tea now?

This isn't Britain, you idiot. Might as well just offer him "biscuits" while you're at it.

Can we go back to making out?

Because I kind of really want to.

But is now the wrong time? He was just showing his vulnerable side and I don't want to scare him away. We were making actual progress on an emotional level and I'd hate to ruin that by making it seem like I just want him as a play-thing. But how does one initiate a conversation meant to start an emotional bonding session? Do I ask about his family? 

No, that would be weird. What kind of person sees a hot guy shirtless and immediately thinks about what their dad is like? A weird one.

I chew on my lip nervously. "Stop." Jack's head snaps toward me. "Don't do that" he warns.

I flinch a little with his words. "Okay, sorry," I say in a quiet voice and let go of the lip that was between my teeth.

Jack's face softens and it's now his turn to caress my face. He leans in and places a gentle, chaste kiss on my lower lip. "Don't be sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he says in a soft voice I didn't know he was capable of. It warms my heart. He rubs his thumb across my cheekbone and I lean into his touch. The look he's giving me right now is so emotional and intense that I should be looking away, but I can't. It would almost feel wrong to do so; cowardly, even. It's a look that has me covered in goosebumps and filled to capacity with warm tingles. He opens his mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry. I know I've been tense and defensive and overreacting a lot-"

You can say that again. 

I scoff loudly; I had intended for it to be a mental scoff but I don't think Jack even heard me because he's now scratching the back of his head while he rambles and is making exaggerated gestures with his hands. It's something I've noticed he does when he gets nervous. I wonder why that is?

"-It's just that I'm more easily agitated whenever I'm horny."

A weird noise exits my throat.

"...so basically whenever I'm around you," he mumbles absentmindedly.

Then he seems to process what he just said to me and clears his throat loudly.

"You scared me earlier, though." He saves himself by continuing.

I'm still recovering from the bluntness of the horny comment but this statement is effective at snapping me out of my trance. I automatically raise my eyebrows questioningly. "I, scared you?"

Jack chuckles at my words then considers them for a moment before responding. He almost seems too nervous to explain but I start playing with his hair and this seems to reassure him enough to continue. "Yeah, with your laughter, I thought you were making fun of me."

"Well you were chuckling right into my shoulder not a moment ago and I thought you were making fun of my question," I retort.

"Well, you asked what I meant-" I start blushing as soon as he mentions the subject "...and that is like literally the definition of comedy."

"Wha- I-"

"And stop trying to change the subject." I'm about to protest that I was just making a perfectly valid point but Jack continues, "I still don't know why you were laughing, though."

If I wasn't blushing before, well, I sure am now. "Well..." I drag out the word, letting the syllables linger on my tongue. Now it just feels really stupid and I think the embarrassment on my face is what gives me away because Jack's eyebrows raise in understanding.

"Ohhhh." A devilish smirk forms on his lips. He starts to lower his head again. His lips near my collarbone and I'm expecting him to suck on it. It doesn't help when he peers up at me with those eyes and that face and ohmygod he would look up at me like that if he were on his knees- 

Bad, Spencer.

I have to shut my eyes to get the vision out of my head, but it actually only makes it worse. I'm feeling frightfully dizzy by the time Jack continues, concluding, "You're ticklish." His breath fans my neck, making my breath hitch.

Then I'm suddenly being affronted by Jack's fingers tickling me. I'm unable to control my laughter, especially as his fingers brush up against the sensitive skin of my sides. I'm thrashing about wildly, trying to escape. "J-Jack!" I say between laughs. "St-stop!" And surprisingly, he does. 

What shouldn't have been a surprise is that he would continue a moment later, just as I let my defenses down. But this time, I'm truly caught off guard. With the first tickle, my body jolts violently. Which doesn't seem like a big deal because it's a normal reaction for me, but I'm not usually in a position where my legs are wrapped around another guy's waist. The reaction caused me to press up into Jack in what felt a very intimate way. I look up into Jack's hungry eyes and can tell that he felt it too.

The contrast between this look and the one earlier are innumerable yet they both sent a powerful feeling through my bones. This look is emotional in a different way that makes me feel like I've been struck by an invigorating bolt of lightning.

"You're really good at riling me up, you know."

I'm out of breath, but manage to get out, "W-what do you mean?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

---

AN: I'm sorry if this chapter doesn't flow well or sound quite right; I just wanted to give you guys an update as soon as I could!

So... 

thoughts?

Do you think Jack is going to spell it out for Spencer?

Love,

Leah