Sad clown

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I have a song stuck in my head

It makes me sad, not happy, filled with dread.

I feel sad and sorrow

And I don't want to feel this way tomorrow

Cause I don't like to be sad

It's not happy and brings me to a dark place

And I'm afraid of the dark.

I don't like being sad, it's scary and it's sometimes hard to crawl back out of the hole and be happy again.

But if I'm happy and positive I don't have to worry

I can fake and hide me sadness without a worry

But if I break I have to build up again,

And building again is harder than faking it

I just want to be happy and not be sad, it's too hard to come back

Im afraid of the dark I hide in

I've been there before and I shed a blind eye to it

Because I'm not happy when I'm sad

I like being happy more than being sad

I want to and do much more when I'm not sad

When I'm sad I don't like who I am

I'm tired and can't find positivity

And that's not who I am

But all this happens when I bottle it up

But I don't know how to "let it out" without everything crashing down

The more I push it down, the higher the wall becomes

And the harder it feels when the wall comes crashing down

When it comes crashing down I feel every negative thing about me and everything negative that can happen to me.

I'm annoying

Everyone hates me

I'm too loud

Everyone I love leaves me

Everything I love gets destroyed

You trust too easily, that's why you get hurt

You bring your pain on yourself

You're trying to be strong when you're weak

There's a reason I try to be happy all the time...

Because when I don't,

I die inside...

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