Sons Of Anarchy.We All Fall Down . .

42. Have a Heart.

Driving to my fathers house felt weird. For once, I didn't have anyone in the car with me and ever since I started my vehicle I had been looking behind me for the most part. Being kidnapped twice had made me paranoid. 

I laughed internally at that thought. 'Yeah, I would pretty much think anyone would be paranoid after that.'

It wasn't just because I felt paranoid it was because in the past couple days I haven't seen my father or anyone from the clubhouse and it saddened me I haven't visited as much. The last time I've seen them was the night of Gemma's and I's kidnapping. 

My father was going too be home and I didn't know how I felt about that. We spent minimal time together and that bothered me. There wasn't long conversations or nightly calls. Maybe it was because he didn't know how too be a father? Or maybe it was because we didn't know how too connect sometimes. It bugged me. 

I've been in Charming for over seven months and my relationships with my parents had been thinning. I came too Charming begging my mother too help me find my father. I begged her every day since I was seven too know who my real father was and I'd be damned if I just let my relationships slide. Fucking life wasn't fair and I finally learned that. I learned that the first time Kohn came into our life and now that he was gone more shit showed up on my doorstep. 

I scoffed as I thought of Josh. At one moment, I think he really did love my mother and I. He came around when he wanted too. Helped my mother with the bills, even when my mother tried too fight him. He took me too school and bought me ice cream after I got out. He was nice. At one point. . .

Then he turned into someone I didn't even recognize. A complete total stranger. He hurt my mom, and once you hurt my mother it was hard for me too ever forgive that person. She was broken once. I remember the day I walked home from school and I found my mother at the kitchen table, crying. She held paperwork in her hand, a pen was at her side. I didn't know what it meant at the time. 

Still don't. 

I promised myself that I would never allow my mother too cry like that again. My mother was a strong women who didn't need anyone but me in her life. She once told me that I was her sword and shield. That I protected her from the demons. Whatever that meant.

I knew my father felt something for her, otherwise he wouldn't be with her, right? 

My fathers house finally came into my view and I smiled as I recognized my mothers vehicle in the driveway. She was probably here too "check on Abel" but really was here too check on my father. As long as they were happy I would be fine with it. I pulled up next too her car and shut mine off. 

The wind blew my hair across my face as I got out of the car. I shut my door and walked up the steps, and before I could knock, the door was swung open. A beautiful dark skinned women stood before me. Her eyes held warmth and soul. Underneath her eyes held lines that I could only assume was from laughter. She was only a bit taller than me and I couldn't help be slightly confused. 

She smiled widely. "You must be Winnie." 

Hello, more confusion. "Uh, yeah, and you are . . ." 

"Oh! I'm Neeta. Abels' babysitter." I nodded awkwardly as I stood on my fathers porch. Didn't know Dad hired a babysitter. Did he really need a babysitter, couldn't he watch him on his own? I think Neeta finally realized I was standing silent for a while as she smiled wider, if that was even possible, and opened the door more. "Please, come in." 

I stepped forward and thanked her quietly. I looked around but saw no one. "My mom, is she - "

"In Abel's room. Her and your grandm- Gemma." Ah. I see Gemma got a hold of Neeta too. Gemma hated the word grandmother. It was like holy water being sprayed onto a demon. It made her "insides curl" as she put it.