I still wish that my father had killed me back then as well so that I wouldn't feel this alone, that I wouldn't live such a lonely life like this one I'm having. He threatened me and that threat was enough for me to distance myself from everyone. I proclaimed myself to be antisocial, to lack emotions, to dislike everything, and to be completely invisible. I still have to go to school though since I know that mom wouldn't be happy if I stopped just because of my traumatic past but I can't be happy. I can't permit myself to feel even a bit of that kind of emotion.
After that night, I ran away. I went to the police but my father made sure that I kept my mouth shut.
"Tell the police about me and I swear your disappearance will come early."
That's what he said. I know that I just want to disappear but mom...she didn't want me to die and so I won't. I told the police that I was abused by random drunk strangers in the village and that I no longer have a home or a family. I only told them to that extent so they took me to the orphanage. That's where I grew up. I was unbelievably cold to everyone even though they were so kind. I just couldn't get attached. As soon as I reached the age of 16, I left and started working. I worked overtime just to have a place to stay. My life was pretty tough, still is.
Of course, I couldn't avoid questions but I could force myself not to speak up. I didn't care about anyone's opinions or thoughts about me. I just want everyone to hate me for me to not like anyone. And I just want to do my best in everything, especially in being a complete stranger to everyone.
Today is my fourth day in 11th grade and I'm finally living in a dorm which I worked my ass off for just to be able to live while staying there. I have 3 part-time jobs. I'm a waitress at a restaurant near school during my free times, a crew in a tea shop after school in the afternoon and a musician at night. I can manage to force out fake smiles and stuff in order to live but that's just that. It's only for work.
As soon as I entered school, everyone moved, making sure that no one would block my way. Some people hate me and some are afraid of me. I don't care. Let them fear and hate me all they want. It's just what they should actually do.
"Have you heard? There's a new guy and he's cute!" I heard a girl tell another girl then they both ran off filled with enthusiasm. Typically cringey.
I wonder how it feels to be excited about a cute guy...I want to know but I'm not allowed to. I don't even see cute guys around here.
The first bell had probably rang about 4 minutes ago and so I continued walking to the direction of our classroom.
Everyone's already here? Wow they're all up for the new guy they're talking about.
I took a seat at the back of the class which is my assigned seat, not bothering to look up at the new guy they're all drooling for.
"All right settle down now everyone. Since everyone is finally present, son you can start introducing yourself." Mr.Yang, our class adviser urged the new kid.
I rested my head on the table and weirdly found interest on the wood that our tables were made out of.
"Hey Good Morning! My name is Hwang Hyunjin. I've just turned 17 this month and I hope I can get along with all of you."
It's probably nice to not have any worries on your birthdays...
"You may sit beside Ms. Jung at the back."
For real? There are two empty seats but he was chosen to sit beside me! Well let's just hope that he's not a brat who'll try to talk to me about the edges of space.
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Hush Now || Hwang HyunjinFanfiction
BOOK 1 & 2 (BOOK 3: WAKE UP) In a word full of mysteries and unusualness, if you're scared, you die. If you're weak, you die. If you're trying to fight what nature has given you, you die. So hush now and don't let them know. 31/03/19 #1 in stay #1...