Chapter 52 - the last day

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Today is Ethan and I last day in New-York.

It was raining outside and the city seemed to be sleeping. Nobody was on the streets, the café down my building was closed, the lady that lives next to us hasn't walked her dog.
It was calm, the only thing we could hear was the rain. No sirens, no laughs, no cries, nothing.
Mom decided that we would have one last family diner before I leave for Jersey. She spent the whole day cooking while I was with Sam.

Mom hates cooking.

She just needed a distraction. She needed something to focus on in order to get her mind of the situation.

Sam and I talked a lot. He asked me about my life in Los Angeles. He asked me about dad.
He doesn't say it, but I think he misses him. It has been so long since the last time he saw him. Over two years now.

He doesn't blame dad though, he is not angry. After all, I think he knows that dad never abandoned him, I think he knows dad didn't really had a choice, he had to leave.
Sometimes you make sacrifices for what matters the most.
Dad never missed a single birthday or Christmas. We always received a gift, sometimes we received one for no reason. We would go get the mail and it would be a package filled with small presents for the both of us.
Dad was the first one to call us after we graduated our grades, he never missed a single phone call when I was at the hospital.

In a way, even if he was more than 2 700 miles away from us, he has been more present for us than my mother.


"Ethan ?" I asked as I knocked at my bedroom door.

Ethan let me and Sam alone the whole day. He had to call Grayson after an important meeting and he needed to call Emma to organize a video they planned to do when he will be back in California.

Now it was time to eat so I went to get him, hopefully he his done with his phone calls and all.

I knocked one more time since he didn't responded the first time. And once again, no answer. So I decided to enter anyways.

I opened the door and immediately saw him. He was under the covers, only his head and one of his arms he was resting his head on were out.
He looked so peaceful.
Little snores were coming out of his mouth and I couldn't stop smiling.
His hair was a mess, but a really cute mess. I think he drooled, but I hope it was not on my pillow or else I would have to kill him and change the sheets, even if it's only for one night. There is lines you can not cross.

Slowly I made my way to the bed and sneaked under the covers. I wrapped my arms around his torso and put my head on his chest.
His heartbeat was calm, his skin was warm and soft.
He loves to say that he has a hairy chest but that's the biggest lie, he has like, three hairs. And when I told him that the other day he said that this was because Grayson made him shave. Which was also a lie.
This kid is something else.

I felt him wrap his free arm around me and he slowly started caressing my back.

"What time is it ?" He then asked me with his raspy voice.
"Diner time." I said.

He sighed.

"Come on, e."
"I don't want to get up. I'm so comfy right now."
"We have to go." I told him after planting a kiss on his bare chest.

He sighed a second time.

"I swear to god in Jersey we stay an entire day in bed, just you and I."

I smiled.

"Only if you get up right now and put a shirt on so we can go eat with my family."
"Yes ma'am."

I laughed and got up. It was painful and I didn't had much strength but I managed to do it by myself.
I knew Ethan was looking at me and was ready to help me at any second.

"You good ?" He asked when I was finally up.

I turned to face him and genuinely smiled.

"Yeah... Now come on, fat ass, get up."

He closed his eyes and breathed heavily. Then he got out of the sheets and got up. He then took the shirt he had put on the chair beside the bed.

"Stop checking me out." Ethan said with his deep voice in order to try making me think he was actually asking me that.

"Says who, first of all ?" I replied.

He laughed and put his shirt on.



Diner was great. We laughed a lot and for the first time I felt like I had a real connection with my family.
Ethan and Sam seems to get along very well which I am very grateful for.

Sam never talked once about me leaving or my cancer. He avoided the subject and I knew it.

But we needed to talk about it.

I looked at Ethan and he looked at me. I told him about that yesterday so I think he understood.

"I don't know what to do." I whispered to him.

He nodded and started to take off his blue bracelet, the cancer one.

After he finally managed to take it off of his huge wrist he handed it to Sam.

"What's that ?" Sam asked.
"My cancer bracelet, it's yours now." Ethan told him.

Sam starred at it for a few seconds and then at Ethan.

"I saw you wear it everywhere and everyday, it must be very important to you, why would you give it to me ?"
"Because you need it. And because I have an extra one at home."

Sam looked at te bracelet once again.

"Thank you..." He told Ethan, his eyes starting to get watery.

My mom stood up and started leaving.

"Ethan, can you help me washing the dishes ?" She asked him.

And Ethan stood up right away. He hated washing the dishes more than anything, but he knew my mom wanted to let me and Sam alone for a little bit.


Sam remained quiet for a long time, staring at the blue bracelet at his wrist. It seemed much bigger on him than on Ethan but still fitted him.

"Sam -" I started but he cut me off.
"Is this the last time you're in New York ?" He asked me.

I thought about it a few seconds and then nodded.

"Probably, yeah..."

A tear run down my cheek.

Sam got up of his seat and sat beside me. He then took me in his arms.

"I love you." He said.
"I love you too. So much."


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