Now with the holidays behind us, Rain and I were getting closer. Actually things took an unexpected turn between us. She adjusted to me better and was becoming more and more her own person.
Her personality was emerging more and more and she was showing more of who she is. I also found out, with this came new territory. Such as things got heated in my bedroom as we were kissing.
As things intensified between us, I felt her body moving against mine. This was turning me on and I needed to put on the breaks, or things were going to go where no man needed to go right now.
I pulled back, "maybe we should stop."
She looked at me confused, "did I do something wrong?"
"Well, no. But, um, I don't know how to say this," I said trying to figure how I wanted to phrase it.
"Did I give you a boner?"
I looked at her. I had no words at that moment.
"Wade, said when you give a guy an erection they call it a boner. Is that what you have right now," she asked me.
I got up and adjusted myself.
"Okay first, I need to have a talk with Morris. Second, yes I have an erection," I said embarrassed.
She stood up. I looked at her as I tried to hide it. Then before I knew it, she stripped off her clothes. What the hell?! My eyes widened.
She stood in front of me naked.
"I figure if you saw me naked then you wouldn't be embarrassed by your boner," she said casually.
"Okay, Rain can we stop saying boner and how about you get dressed," I suggested.
"Am I not attractive," she questioned. Oh god help me.
I took a deep breath, "extremely but I really need you to get dressed," as my voice went higher than usual.
"Okay," she shrugged. I turned around as she dressed. God grant me strength right now.
"You can turn around," she said as I turned around to find her fully dressed. I walked over and took a seat on my bed. Damn it. I was still hard. Ugh.
She sat down next to me.
"What can I do to help you," she asked me.
"Hun, what I need, I don't know if you can help me with," I told her with a look.
"Then show me," she suggested.
Oh dear god. I swear my girl is trying to kill me. I looked at her horrified. Most of the times when a guy does that, they're alone. If they're with a girl, they're usually doing more than that.
"Antonio, how am I suppose to know how to handle things, if you don't show me or explain them," she asked me. Why did she have to say handle? Ugh.
I looked at her. I know she was being serious and I had to suck it up.
"Okay, but don't freak," I said to her.
"Okay," she said.
I took a deep breath, undid my pants and shifted out of them until I was exposed. She looked at me, "now what?"
I closed my eyes and opened them. Then I took my hand and took her hand, placing it on me. I held her hand and guided her. At one point, she got a little rough until I had to talk her through it. I even spit on my hand. Don't judge. Ever do this dry? It's not pleasant.
As I guided her, she understood what I was doing. Then it got better. Finally, I released and it got all over her hand.
"Ewww. This is gross," she said making a face. "Is it always this sticky?"
"Pretty much," I said as I got cleaned up and pulled my pants up. Then I cleaned her up.
"Do guys do that all the time," she asked me as I tossed a towel into the hamper.
"Most of the time," I said to her.
I looked at her, "Rain? Are you okay?"
"Well, I thought I was the only one that did that." I looked at her. "When I do it, I feel better. They said it was a stress reliever. I didn't know it was more," she said to me.
"Because you didn't understand the sexual nature of it?"
"No." She looked at me concerned. "Am I doing something wrong when I do it," she asked me.
"No," I reassured her. "Rain, it's a very natural thing to do. When we're younger, it happens because it makes us feel better. We don't understand its sexual. As we get older, it's what they refer to as foreplay. Most people are taught that's its bad as a kid because they don't think kids understand it. Part of that is true but it's a natural response to our body. What isn't natural is experiencing it with someone until we are older. Understand," I asked her.
"Yeah. My parents always taught me that area was my private space and no one was suppose to invade it," she said to me.
"And they're right. Even now. Whatever you don't want me to do, I won't. Not without your permission. Understand," I asked her.
"I understand," she said with relief to me.
I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. The problem is most people told tell a kid it's natural to do this. They make them feel like they're doing something wrong which is wrong in itself. Yeah kids don't understand the whole concept but they're not doing it because it's wrong, it just makes them feel better.
Rain's parents had her go to her room so she wasn't embarrassed. They never made her feel bad about it and never made a big deal about it. They handled it properly.
I never wanted her to feel bad or embarrassed about her body. I wanted to help her as much as I could but with limits. If she didn't want to do something, it wasn't happening. No matter what she said, I would never push her to do anything she didn't want to.
I just had a feeling we were entering new territory for the both of us. I also had a feeling when we did take that next step, I would do everything in my power to make her feel comfortable and loved. She deserved that.
A/N: this is a typical behavior with kids and Autism. We learned this and after having an informative conversation with a doctor and teachers who specialize in this, we learned how to handle it. I know most people are embarrassed to discuss it but trust me, you aren't alone.
On a separate note, the Valentine's day chapter is next.
YOU ARE READING
Rainbow Hardwick doesn't understand many things. People call her weird, eccentric, and so many other things. Having autism does that. Antonio Grasso is the most popular boy in school and one day takes an interest in Rainbow. Nobody understands wh...