I cannot believe he left without saying goodbye. This is just sad. Its my fault that I told him I like him. I scared him away. I just can't stop blaming myself. He.. He went back to Oklahoma. Which also means I won't be seeing him anymore. I missed him. He said he has something to tell me too but what is it? He left without telling anyone anything. What is it that he wanted to tell me? I have no idea.

When I got home, I slammed Dan's mercedes's door shut and ran straight into my room when i got in the house. I locked myself in the room and blasted Greyson's music to the maximum volume. The more I listen to his music the more i cry. Does he hate me that much he doesnt even wanna see me? I can't help but sit there quietly and think of what I could've done. I could've not tell him that I liked him. Why did i tell him that anyway? Why so stupid, Jessica? Greyson will never like girls older than him. Urghh, I'm so stupid I can die now. I gotta kill myself. Maybe poison my own food or just stab myself to death? Okay, I can't do any of that. I'll be stupid if I killed myself for Greyson. I know he'll come back soon. I'll wait for him to come back. Then I'll explain everything to him. Hope he'll understand and won't get freaked out. Okay. Done. Problem solved. Now, off to bed. My head hurts from all the thinking these few days.

The next day, I woke up to my 'Summertrain' message tone. I wasn't planning to touch my phone at all until it kept ringing non-stop. Its 7 o clock in the morning, who texts people a this time? Early in the morning? I looked at my phone and Hoshit! I've got 500 mentions on twitter, 82 texts from Greyson and 15 voicemail from Greyson too. Omg, 500 mentions on twitter is just crazy. What happened? I quickly logged into twitter and saw mentions like ' go hell you slut" "OMG. You lucky girl. G tweeted a picture if you. I'll support you guys! " or " Are you like dating my husband?" Hate tweets, support tweets. What's happening? Wait what? Greyson tweeted a picture of me? I thought he hated me? I can't find that tweet anywhere in my mentions. I think its way down there. *scroll, scrolls and scrolls on greyson's twittter page* le found zee picture! Oh. My. God. Its the picture we took together in the park. His hand's wrapped around my shoulder and both of us did some funny face. He tweeted a photo of us, to all his enchancers and tagged me! This is awesome! He captioned the picture as 'The best I've ever met.' Omg. The best he had ever met? Ho.. Shitz. What does that means? I can't even think now. The best enchacer he'd ever met or the best friend he'd ever met or the best girlfriend material he'd ever met?

No wonder I'm getting all those tweets. 

I checked the voicemail and the messages that Greyson sent me. Most of them are those apologizing message for not meeting me before he left. Until I came across this message. He explained everything.

'Hi Jess. I'm sorry for leaving you alone at the airport. I just have mixed feeling for you. I love you. But I'm not sure I'm loving you as my enchancer, friend or a normal girl. So i left early.And that photo on twitter, sorry, i didnt know tha picture would give you that much hate. Im so so sorry. Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I'll be having the concert here in Oklahoma. I've saved the VVVIP seat for you. Come and I'll finish off what I wanted to tell you at the airport that day. Please come. I've already asked Dan to send you the flight tickets and backstage and concert pass. See you, Jess.'

I reread the message 5 times and made sure that he said that he wanted me to go over to Oklahoma for his concert and he wanna tell me what he wanted to say that day. I'm so excited. Omg he wants me there! He doesn't hate me. Omg omg omg. But with all these hate tweets and all, I can't really go anywhere unregconized. Well, sometimes. That evening, I asked my mom if i could go over to Oklahoma and she said No,Just no,without any reasons. My heart broke into zillions of pieces. I can't go. I CAN'T GO. This is depressing.

Greyson called that night and re-explain everything he said in the last text. Then he asked if im going to Oklahoma. I said I can't and he sounded disappointed. Like really disappointed. We spoke for a few minutes then we hung up. It was a simple conversation. Asking each other how's life and all. 

The next day, I've decided to call Greyson and check up on him, see if his concert's going well. I dialed his number and the operator says his number isn't in use anymore. IT ISN'T IN USE ANYMORE.

What did he do to his number? I tried calling Dan and it didn't work too. I tried every way to contact them but no one response. What have I done to get this kinda treatment? Greyson is avoiding me. I dont know why. My heart went all numb and I can't feel even feel anything at all. Since then, I've tried calling and texting him everynight. I've also tried tweeting him. But there's no response at all. 

5 years passed by and I'm still trying to get Greyson to contact me. I still don't get it. I need an explaination. 

Until one day.....

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