Everyone Breaks 3

32. The Dark place

 The five stages of grief are the different stages people tend to go through, when they are experiencing grief.

1)Denial
2)Anger
3)Bargaining
4)Depression
5)Acceptance

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In the time I've been locked away, I've gone through all of the stages of grief...twice. I started with "he couldn't really leave me in here. He wouldn't do that anymore, but I was wrong. Mr. 'It wasn't my choice last time to take your girls away'. Decided this time it was find to lock me away from them. I wonder if my parents are safe at home also.

I hate Zac. He did this too me. He can't blame it on the other guys this time. It was him and him alone. He cares more about his so called respect or getting his way,  then he does about real logical thinking, or even how it would make me feel about him. That's not love, as he calls it. That's more like psychosis.

Everytime he starts to show me a kinder human side of himself, he sabotages his own progress by doing something like having me locked in a pitch black freezing cold room. I yelled last night to be let out because I had to use the bathroom. After awhile I just couldn't hold it anymore. That's when I officially came to the conclusion that I hated Zac- not just dislike,  but hate meaning I wish he didn't exist on this planet anymore. That's not a feeling I have towards many people, but he's on that list again. Who leaves a person they claim to love, to set themselves.

The room must be made of the same things restaurants use to make walk-in refrigerators. I don't even feel like I'm in the tropics anymore, it feels like it's close to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. I know I've been in this room for hours upon hours, and now with the smell of urine on me, it's a new low that he's pulled me to.

Sleeping on a hard cold cement floor with nothing to warm me but my own slowly falling body heat, was not the vacation I would've planned for myself. Zac tries to act like we're in some normal b.s relationship,  but then when I make a few normal relationship moves like walking away when I'm angry, he goes and has a hissy fit.

I'm so tired, but I'm too cold to sleep. Since they threw me in here, I've slept possibly 3 hours, if I could guess. I know I sound like a child when I say it, but I just want my mom...and my babies.

Just when I was on the 5th stage of grief, the door opened. I looked up squinting my eyes at the silhouette standing in the door frame. The bright outside light blinded me until I could adjust my sight to get use to it. There were two men "She fücken pissed herself. All the girls do that, like they can't hold it in for a night in a bit of cold." One of the guys said. "Good thing there's a floor drain for these bïtches"

One guy walked in right after the other. I watched every move they made,. "Get up" one guy ordered "get up quickly, unless you want to stay in here another day" he added .