Dating A Youtuber[David Dobrik]

30

David POV

"Good morning" I hear her say behind me. Everything is heavier. My feet are nailed to the floor and I can barely keep my head up. A bit is from the huge hangover I have, but most of it is because I hurt Kai. And I have to tell her. I feel Liza's finger draw on my back. Just like Kai dit yesterday. I shrug my shoulders as a sign for her to stop.

"I'm sorry, Liza" I say. She giggles. That damn giggle got me here. She puts her arms around me. "It's okay, David. We just have to get used to each other again" she whispers in my ear. I, again make her let me go and stand up. "No Liza. This...last night...It was a mistake and I'm sorry that I dragged you into this" I say firmly. And I start looking for my shirt.

I see Liza curl up in the blankets and hide her naked body for me. A tear leaves her eye, down her cheek and it disappears into the blanked. She wipes it away and stares out the window. She sights as soft as she can, keeping herself from crying. "Hmmm" she mumbles in agreement. She doesn't agree. She wants to be with me. And 5 months ago-me would want to be with her to. He would hold her right now. He would kiss her forehead, telling her he would never let her go again. That me would've done everything to stop her from going to fucking Australia. That me would have probably married the girl sitting before me right now. 

But present-me can't. He just can't.

I look at her one last time. Seeing the past. She looks me straight into my eyes telling me to go get the girl, because otherwise she got hurt for nothing.

~~~

Sitting in my car. Feeling every damn bone I have in my body. I make myself believe she won't be mad. Making myself get out of the car and tell the most important person in my life that I cheated on her ,because she didn't tell me she loved me. I slept with my ex-girlfriend who messed up my faith by going to the other side of the word, without saying anything. Kai was there. Never with the intention to make me forget Liza. Never with a second agenda. She was just there.

I step out of my car. Not ready for anything that is coming my way.                                                        You know the part in the rom-com where everything is going down? It's coming right now.

 She's going to yell at me, push me away, leave, live her life, letting me go. With my hand on the doorknob I look thru the glass door. Seeing her sitting on the couch. And I just stand there. Getting sick of myself and my cowardliness. You did this, now fu.....

"I'm so happy you're home. I'm so sorry about yesterday" she wraps her arms around me and holds me really tight. "I do love you, David. Not being able to say it was stupid. Just everything from my childhood...I have some issues but I do. I love you so much" she says cupping my face with her hand. So sincerely sorry. She felt bad the whole night thinking I would come back and we would be happy together.

I grab her hands away from my face and press a kiss against both of them. With her fingers entangled in mine, I guide her to the couch. 

"Are you okay? Are you still mad at me?" she asks looking at me with big eyes.                                         I shake my head. "No, I'm not. I just can't be happy with those words" I tell her.

"Why?" she asks

"Because I'm afraid of losing you"

"I don't get it, Dave."

"I love you. But I did something that is going to hurt you"

"What did you do?"

"I...I slept with Liza"

She sights and doesn't say anything for 10 minutes. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to look at her, but I don't want to be creepy. I want her to say something, but I don't want to push her. So, now I just sit there.

"I really want to say something but I don't know what" she finally says.

I nod having the same problem.

"Aren't you supposed to say that it was a mistake and you were drunk? That will at least make me want to yell at you" she then says.

"I was drunk and it was a mistake. But I don't want to justify it"

"Are you getting back together with her?"

I shake my head.

"I want to be with you"

"Did you need to sleep with her to see that?"

"No. I mean...I don't know. I was hurt and confused and didn't know weather we were still a thing"

"So, if we were broken up you would just replace me like that?" she's raising her voice now.

"No Kai. That's not what I meant"

"Ten what did you mean? Because now I'm the confused one"

"It doesn't matter what I was thinking or why I did it. I love you and I'm sorry"

"It matters to me, David. Because she is the love of your life and there was a reason you went to her"

"I think...I don't know. Kai please"

"No David. You have to explain. I'm freaking out"

"You're not showing that" I say joking, trying to lift the spirit a little bit.

"No. That's the fucking point. Because even though I'm devastated that the only guy I've ever said "I love you" to slept with his ex- girlfriend, the part inside me where we're still just friends is happy that you finally got her back" she confesses.

She breaks down. The whole being calm act is over and she is full on showing how I broke her. I'm trying to comfort her. Holding her. But she won't let me. She lifts her head from her hands and looks straight into my eyes telling me to go get the girl, because otherwise she got hurt for nothing.