That night, once Grace was in bed and Brendon was left for another restless night on the couch, his mind goes on and on. This time, though, it isn't so bad. The thoughts don't consume him like the night sky, but instead a warm day in the South. They're good for him, they comfort him even, and he's not used to this.
Brendon never knew until now how much weight would get lifted off his chest from doing something as simple as confessing-- but that's the thing, it wasn't simple, and he's proud of himself for taking that step. It was needed, and as a result, he's allowed to breathe without fear around Carina. He no longer will worry about a slip up, because there's nothing to slip up with now, and that's what has been settling deeply.
He knows soon enough he won't be able to hide it from Luke anymore. But for now, he doesn't think about that.
Brendon turns to his side and brings his phone a closer to his face. It's later, and he knows Josh is probably home by now, so it should be okay to call him. He hopes it's okay.
If not, he'll call Tyler.
He just needs to talk to either of them. Badly.
Can I call you?
Brendon shifts and stirs, waiting for a response and watching whatever is on the telivision. It's mostly car commercials, which doesn't necessarily peak his interest as much as a text from Josh might.
After a few minutes, Josh does reply.
Brendon bites his lip. He's never done a video call, but there's no reason why he shouldn't.
He's in the dark and the only thing lighting up his face is the TV. He doesn't understand why Josh wants to video call, but he also doesn't mind, because seeing Josh-- and most likely Tyler-- is going to put him at ease. He just wished they would actually be here with him, though.
Or maybe he not; he doesn't want them to go through this, too.
It doesn't take long for Josh to call, Brendon's own face popping up on the screen. He purses his lips, pressing the answer button.
Then, his screen is full of Josh's face, and he really doesn't mind.
Josh smiles, so does Brendon. "Hi." He says.
Brendon hides behind his arm a little, he doesn't know why he's already blushing. Or maybe he does. Josh gives him butterflies in his stomach like a fucking teenage girl. It's embarrassing. "Hey," he mutters, blinking a few times.
Josh pulls the camera away from his face and instead places it somewhere else. He's in the computer room it seems, and Brendon can see Tyler in the background.
He watches them glance over to Josh. They must see Brendon on the call because they give an all-lip smile before turning back to the computer.
"So what's up?" Josh asks after a moment.
Brendon bites his lip although it's still sore, still punctured. He can't help it. "I did it," he mumbles. "I told Carina everything."
Maybe he's subliminally asking for the two of them to be proud of him, and maybe he's subliminally craving for their praise. Good job, Brendon. That's he needed, especially coming from Tyler and Josh.
YOU ARE READING
Brendon is a single man, too anxious for his own good, but that wasn't his fault. Life feels like it's getting more and more difficult with each day passing. Was it so wrong to want someone to care for you in that situation? As a last resort he down...