Best Friends Forever

27

The rest of the weekend passed without me seeing any more of my friends. Not only was I in a slump, I had now made everything irreversibly awkward between Jason and I, Lucas and I, and Jason and Lucas.

There was no way to rectify it, so I had decided to stay in my house all weekend, binge eating ice cream with my mom.

"It's weird that you haven't seen your friends since Friday," my mom said. "Did you guys get into a fight? Spill the tea, sister!"

"Mom," I cringed. "Please. Never, ever, ever, ever, and I cannot emphasize this enough, ever say that again."

"Sorry," she said. "I'm just trying to relate to the youths, such as yourself."

"It's not working."

"Ugh, fine. What's wrong, though?"

I debated whether or not I should talk to her about my problems. My initial instinct was to shut her out and suffer in solitude, but I decided to push that aside for today. Maybe she would have good advice, maybe she would tell me what I would do, and maybe this could bring us a little closer.

"Okay, well... I'm in a bit of a... situation right now."

"Oooh, a situation. That sounds intriguing. Go on."

"Okay, well say there are two guys-"

"Oh my god, are you in a love triangle?"

"Mom, can you just let me finish?"

"And I oop-"

"Mom!"

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just excited that you're telling me. Continue."

"Okay, well there are two guys who are... friends. There was kind of something between me and both of them, but neither will do anything about it," I explained.

"Why won't either do anything?" she asked.

"Well, one just doesn't want to go there with me because he doesn't think I'll reciprocate. The other one won't do anything because he knows Guy #1 likes me."

My mom paused pensively for a second. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Yes."

"They both sound like little bitch boys," my mom said.

I burst out laughing. "What?"

"I mean it!" she defended herself. "Like, they need to man up and go for what they want if they really want it."

"But it's more complicated than that. There are actual feelings involved."

"Well, do you know which one of them you like?"

"This sounds selfish but... I could see something with both of them. But at the same time, I have no idea if I actually do. I don't know what I want at all. Have you ever felt that?"

"Of course I have. It's hard to know."

"It doesn't even matter, because nothing can happen without one of their feelings being hurt."

She nodded. "I understand that. But there are consequences to every decision you make in life; you and these boys just need to think about if hurting someone's feelings is going to be worth it in the end."

"But it's so easy for you to say that. You never had anyone to worry about someone else when you were first falling for Dad."

She chuckled, a surprisingly sad sound that I didn't expect. "I wish that was true, sweetie. There was always someone else at the beginning but..." She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "But sometimes you have to think about your future, your forever. I couldn't picture a life without your dad. He is my forever in away the other guy just couldn't be for me."