The Pick Up Line (Desmond x Reader~ Humor!AU)

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"Hey, Y/N?"

Desmond called from the couch in the living room, and you placed the spoon down on the counter and wiped your hands on your apron. "Yeah?" You asked as you peeked your head around the corner, and saw him standing a few feet away from you in the living room. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he smiled wide at seeing you in the doorway.

"I know you have a boyfriend, and that's cool." He started, and you snorted at what he said and facepalmed yourself. Desmond and you have been together for a few years, and he had always cracked jokes at the most random of times. It always made you laugh because of how dorky he was, even though he was a grown man. But you loved how he was a child at heart, it kept you on your toes and made you expect the unexpected. (A/N: name that reality show!)

"But I just thought you should have a husband." He spoke, and you laughed at his joke and leaned your shoulder against the wall. Desmond smiled too, the scar on his perfect lips stretching upwards as he did so. But his smile suddenly faded, and his face grew serious as he placed his hand into his pocket and withdrew a velvet box. You didn't notice the box at first, so you just kept giggling and kept your eyes on his as he stepped towards you. Your hands covered your face, and you snorted again as you saw through your fingers that Desmond was now standing in front of you. He gently removed your hands by your wrists, a wide smile appearing on his face again as he kneeled on one knee in front of you. Your chuckling immediately stopped upon seeing what he was doing, and your eyes widened as your hand shot up to cover your mouth.

"I know this isn't the most romantic way to do it, but I ran out of ideas and this was the first thing that came to mind." He said, his brown eyes sparkling up at you as he watched your reaction. Tears welled in your eyes, and you jumped up and down in your place. Desmond grabbed the hand that wasn't covering your mouth, which luckily was your left hand, and gazed lovingly up at you. "So, Y/N, will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Miles?" He asked as he leaned forward in anticipation, and you chuckled out a sob as you nodded your head up and down vigorously. "Yes, Desmond, of course!" You screams echoed around the apartment, and he chuckled at your reaction and relaxed as he slid the diamond ring in your finger. He stood up to his full height, and you immediately jumped onto him.

You launched yourself into his awaiting arms, and he picked you up and twirled you around. Your screams echoed around the apartment, and you buried your head into his white hoodie that he always wore. You laughed loudly, and Desmond set you back on your feet with a 'thump' but didn't let go. His strong arms were wrapped around your waist, and he squeezed his arms together and you giggled into his shoulder. Happy tears trailed down your face and fell into his hoodie, and you pulled back just enough to press your lips to his in a sweet kiss. You felt the scar on his warm lips, and your hands tightened around his shoulders as you stood up on your tippy toes. He pulled you impossibly closer by your waist, a blush sweeping across your body as you felt the space between you close.

The smell of something burning broke you apart, and your eyes widened as you rushed away from Desmond and into the kitchen. Throwing on some oven mitts and muttering curse words in Italian, you pulled the blackened casserole from the oven and placed it on the stove. You huffed out a breath as you slammed the oven door closed, and Desmond came up behind you and wrapped his strong arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. You could already feel the sarcastic comment coming on before he said anything.

"I thought you said you could cook."

"Hush, Desmond!"

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Yes, I know it's short but this idea popped into my head and I thought it was cute 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ this is 730 words omg #shortestchapterever

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