farm boy // joshler

6

tyler's point of view

josh leads me out into the fields and quizzes me on how to do certain things.

first, he makes me water the plants, making sure i know what setting to put the hose on before spraying.

after the soil is wet and softened, he ventures further into the garden. "so, do you remember how to pull the weeds correctly?" he squats down next to a weed in the ground and i follow his lead.

"i think so. you have to loosen the soil and then make sure to get the roots out with it, right?" i stare at the plant and then look at josh.

"right." he nods. "which tool do you use?" he holds up two tools he had sitting beside him, neither of which i know the name of.

"that one?" i point to the one on the left and he smiles.

"good job." he hands it to me and puts the other back on the ground. "let me see you do it."

i blush a little as i begin the process, feeling his eyes on me. im worried he'll judge me for doing something wrong, even though he hasnt yet.

i pull the weed and hold it out to him. he takes it and puts it in the bag he brought to collect them while i rearrange the soil so there's no random hole in the ground.

we make our way around the crops, pulling weeds and plucking a few fruits and vegetables here and there.

after a lot of harvesting and pulling roots, i carry the paper bag of weeds and he carries the basket of food.

it took us about two and a half hours to cover all of the crops, and by the time we were done, the sun had risen at its highest point and was shining on us relentlessly.

i feel sweat beading on my forehead and wipe it with my forearm.

"tyler, can you get the door?" josh steps aside for me to open the door since his basket is heavier.

i open the door and we both step inside, welcomed by the cool air from the a.c.

i set my bag on the table next to his basket and he nods once.

"alright. you thirsty?" he opens the fridge and takes out two bottles of water, handing one to me.

"yes. thank you." i take a sip of the cold, clear liquid and close my eyes.

"it gets really hot out there sometimes." josh leans against the counter and takes a huge drink.

"i can see that." i smile a little and set my bottle down. "do we have anything else we need to do?"

"shower. we probably smell like sweat. other than that, no. you're free to do whatever. uncle scott'll take care of the other animals while he does the horses."

josh lets me bathe first since he had a shower earlier. i let the freezing water wash over me, singing a song in my head until i'm done, trying to hold the lyrics in my mind until i can write them down.

i step out of the shower and go to my room to get dressed again as quickly as i can.

once i'm fully clothed, i dig my notebook out of my bag and scribble the words down.

in city, i feel my spirit is contained. like neon inside the glass, they form my brain. but i recently discovered it's a heatless fire, like nicknames they give themselves to uninspire. begin with a bullet, now add fire to the proof. but i'm still not sure if fear's a rival or close relative to truth. either way it helps to hear these words bounce off of you, the softest echo could be enough for me to make it through.

i close my notebook, happy to have gotten the words down before they disappeared. i shove the item to the bottom of my bag and then go back downstairs.

i can hear the shower running again, so i assume josh is still in the bathroom. i came down with the intention of getting my water and then going back up to wait for him, but the grand piano in the corner catches my eye once more.

before i can overthink it, i sit down and take a deep breath. i let my fingers move across the keys without direction.

hearing the melody in my mind flow to my fingers and out of the instrument is an amazing feeling. i let myself get lost in it.

"i could take the high road, but i know that i'm going low. i'm a ban- i'm a bandito," i sing quietly to the song i've been working on, my eyes closed and my voice quiet. "this is the sound we make when in-between two places: where we used to bleed and where our blood needs to be."

i hear footsteps in the back of my mind, but i don't pay any mind to it. i continue playing until i've finished the song.

i sit back when im done, my heart thumping hard in my chest. music has always been an intense and personal experience for me, and it puts me in a certain mental state close to that of meditation.

i stand up and walk back up the stairs and into my room. josh doesnt seem to be upstairs, but i didn't see him downstairs either. i seem to remember scott briefly mentioning josh having a drumset in the basement, and i find myself wandering down in curiosity.

when i get to the basement, i find josh painting. there's music coming from a small speaker and he's humming along to it quietly while he paints.

i tilt my head in an attempt to see what exactly is on the canvas, and when i decipher the image, my eyes go wide.

"is that me?"

josh jumps backwards and drops his paintbrush. his face burns bright, cherry red. "uh, well, i, um," he pauses and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, leaving a streak of peachy paint. "yeah."

i smile a little, my cheeks tinted pink. i step forward and stand beside him to get a better look. he's got a general outline of my face and a few parts of it are painted.

"it's beautiful," my voice is quiet and i step even closer to it in awe.

"really? you're not, like, creeped out?" his cheeks are still burning slightly and he moves to stand closer to me.

i shake my head. "not at all."

"that's, um, that's good," he stumbles over his words.

"you're really talented, josh." i wrap arm around his torso and bring him into a hug.

he takes a moment to process my action before he hugs me back. "thank you."

i pull away, still not completely sure as to why i felt the need to hug him. "sorry. i-"

"what are you sorry for?" his eyebrows are furrowed.

"i guess i, um, i don't know." my cheeks are warm with a blush of my own. "i'm sorry for hugging you?"

"don't be." he shrugs, but i can see his cheeks turning a similar shade of pink as mine once more. he clears his throat. "do you want to go back upstairs and get some lunch? i can make us some grilled cheese or something."

"sure."

(an: realizing there is so much blushing in this book but it's necessary to me to paint the picture [haha] and to show the embarrassment, angst, the crushes they're developing! plus my cheeks are pink 24/7 naturally so it feels normal to me 😅)