From A and D to Cruel Me

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A and D started it all for me.

The small town of Mount Valley was born because of this book. The park that held so many memories was created. The local diner that all the locals loved appeared. The high school that was the core of teenage life was formed.

I love the world that was designed from A and D.

Maybe that's why even now, my current works revolve around it. I knew there were still stories that need to be told from that place. I'm thankful that I wrote A and D. Because of it, this ideal town came into shape.

I've come a long way from that 17-year-old who wrote A and D, doodling at the back of the class instead of listening to the lecture. I've come a long way from the girl who just started out writing and was still figuring out her writing style.

I learned a lot from the constructive criticisms I read from the comments of A and D. I took everything into account and improved myself.

Eight years later, my writing has gotten better. I have my own writing style now (I think). Life lessons happened. Hearts got broken. Books were published. More stories were written.

But there was a bump along that road that not many people knew.

Four years ago, I had a breakdown.

Back then, I tend to bottle my worries and doubts inside of me. When everything got overwhelming, I shoved it up to the back of my mind. There was no room for those kinds of thoughts in the cheerful version I created for myself.

So... naturally... one day... the glass bottle fell to the ground and shattered into pieces.

And everything came out.

I shut down.

I was in a dark place. I skipped meals. I didn't talk to anybody. My parents got worried. I wasn't taking any drugs or doing anything to harm myself. I just simply... shut down.

I figured I needed an outlet. I knew I shouldn't go on like that. I knew I had to do something to cope.

Then... Oz was born.

Every darkness I felt inside of me, every pain, every bad feeling, I poured it all out into his character and his story. The worst part of myself was channeled to him, that part I didn't access because even I feared it. He wasn't the kind of guy you'd cheer for. He was the guy formed from every bad thought and ugly feeling you ever had. He was the villain.

And his story took place in Mount Valley.

Despite everything, I kept going back in A and D's world. I knew it was weird because that world was bright, colorful, and happy. Oz didn't have a place in that kind of reality. He shouldn't have been there. But still, I put him there.

I'm glad I did, because it was very interesting to see Mount Valley from his eyes. Far different from A and D's.

Thinking back on it now, maybe I placed Oz in Mount Valley as a reflection of myself. There he was, broken in a world built to be somewhat perfect.

I guess that's why Cruel Me holds a special place in my heart.

It's when I challenged myself to write a full book based on a male character's POV. It's when I applied every little thing I learned from writing and created this treasure. It's when, for the first time ever, I wrote the darkest, worst version of myself and applied it into a character for rest of the world to see.

A and D started it all. Cruel Me changed the game.

And finally, we'd get to hold it in our arms.

My publisher offered to publish it the traditional way. But if I agreed, I knew that changes will be made, chapters would be cut, and scenes would be deleted. That book was written in the most careful way possible. Every scene had its purpose.

So I opted for self-publishing.

I found some awesome people to help me with the editing, the creation of the cover, and literally everything else. It's my first time legit self-publishing with proper resources. I don't know how many people will buy it. The last time I 'self-published' ended in a disaster. We printed 50 copies and it sold only about 10. The sad part was that most of the buyers were my relatives.

Right now, to say I'm scared as heck is an understatement.

It's a little pricey. We honestly already lowered the cost as much as we can. Please also take note that it's more or less 600 pages (yeah, wild, I know). We chose the best kind of paper material, the cover is matte and embossed, and we pushed for the international level sort of published book.

 We chose the best kind of paper material, the cover is matte and embossed, and we pushed for the international level sort of published book

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I'm honestly beyond proud of how it turned out.

I hope you are, too.

That's why... I shared to you how Cruel Me came about, all the way from A and D.

I want you to know how much this book means to me. I want you to remember, if or when you read it, that this book helped someone overpower her dark side.

Through writing this, she faced her demons.


It's only available via pre-order. It will only have 1 batch, as we won't be having a 2nd batch. In a way, this is a very limited edition. This is the one and only chance to buy a hardcopy of Cruel Me.

The link for all the details and how to pre-order is on the external link, and I'll comment it here as an inline comment. I'll also add it on my bio. (bit.ly/CruelMeBook)

*International buyers, the payment will be via PayPal. Please send a message to Lathala Store (facebook.com/LathalaStore) with your exact address so we could estimate the shipping fee.


Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for being a part of how my life changed for the better.

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