CH. 33 No Sweet Dreams

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"Baby, it's me. It's Dean." He said and I nodded my head looking at him.

I shook my head. I knew it was him it was just that dream that I had which took me off guard.

I look around the room again making sure it was a dream one more time, making sure what I just experienced wasn't real and that I was safe, what happened earlier was in a dream I kept telling myself. He can't hurt you here.

My mind was put at ease seeing that it was and I moved my stare towards Dean, Dean was still looking at me with his hands still up.

"I'm sorry, I'm fine," I said and he lowered his hands.

"Baby, you had a bad dream? You were yelling and screaming things in your sleep." He said and my eyes widen.

I was screaming? So I was screaming in real life when I didn't even hear my own screams in my dream.

"I'm sorry," I said and he shook his head.

Coming closer to me slowly, when he saw that I was okay with it. He pulled me into his arms.

"Don't you apologize, there's nothing to apologize for okay? I just want to make sure you're okay. I was scared, baby because I didn't know what to do. Seeing you like that had me scared. Talk to me about it okay? I want to know what had you like that? Please, Kimani talk to me." Dean said and I let out a sigh.

"Okay," I said staring at him gently.

"It was a bad dream that brought up memories from the past. It was a dream about my Father." I said and Dean stared at me, not saying anything.

I know he wanted me to continue but could I actually do it?

"My Father wasn't the ideal father type, to be honest. My father was abusive, He sexually assaulted, abused and molested me many times as a child and a teen." I said and Dean's eyes widen at the words that came out of my mouth.

"It's terrifying you know, someone who is supposed to actually care for you, protect you, raise you with love in a way a parent should love you. But doesn't do that all, instead that person takes your innocence, makes you do sexual acts to them, release their anger on you and treats you like a toy." I said, the words tasting sour in my mouth.

I didn't know when I started crying but I felt tears running down my face.

I gave a weak smile at Dean, he was trying his best to wipe all my tears away.

"Guess you and I both have gone through many things, yes we've gone through this differently but I can understand your pain. I understand how you feel because I to have been in pain and maybe I still am." I said to him, I pulled a little bit away from his arms.

He let his hands go and gave me the little space that I was seeking, it's not that I didn't want Dean arms around me. It was just that I felt like I was suffocating at the memories that were suddenly making their ways into my head.

"If you're wondering where my mother went, well she died. My mother died in a car crash. It was my fault of course, hell I still blame myself every single day for that. Whenever I see a child with their Mother I think of mine, I think everyone who's ever lost a Mother or a Loving father would understand what I mean when I say that. You see, My mom always did grocery shopping on Fridays. She always buys me these cookies that I like. They're called Festy and I would go crazy over the chocolate ones. One day when she came home from the Grocery store, I noticed that she didn't buy the cookies. I was pretty upset." I said letting out a humorless laugh.

"I mean, she would buy them all the time for me and she forgot that day. I told her, letting her know she forgot it. I didn't think it was a big deal but of course, my mom saw my sad look so she said she would go buy them. My father would tell my mother to stop spoiling me and that She would get it next time she went grocery shopping but my mom went to pick up the cookies anyway saying I was a kid and a good kid deserves her favorite goodies." I said running my fingers through my hair.

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