Bleeder [Blood Magic, Book 1]

Chapter 28: Daddy Issues

God, Mills, you're such an idiot! I thought. I'd been so wrapped up in our escape, our newfound freedom and the freaky new aspects of the bond I'd been thinking of no one but myself this entire time. I hadn't asked Keel how he was coping with his mother's death or the loss of the throne or his home or any of the rest of it. When did I get so selfish?

"I'm still a sorcerer," I reminded him, but my voice was gentler. Guilt had stolen away some of my fight. "I could stop you if I had to."

"Could you? Really? I saw the doubt in your eyes last night: as much you loathed him, you couldn't stop looking for me. But we're one and the same. And if I know how to sabotage your powers, so does that part of me."

"Like you couldn't do that already by just knocking me out?"

"Don't argue with me," Keel said, turning away. It sounded like a dismissal, but he kept talking. "I could feel how reluctant you were to touch me or even come near me this morning. I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to be."

"How what's supposed to be?"

"Whatever we are."

My ribs ached. It was a good thing Keel didn't know much about love or relationships, because we'd hardly tested the waters of ours and I was already in the running for Worst Girlfriend Ever. First with my absolute self-absorption, now this.

I stood up and joined him at the edge of the roof, where he was watching the bustle of mid-morning traffic on the street below. "Maybe it isn't," I allowed. "But when haven't things been complicated for us? I've gotten kind of used to it."

"Mills, we're talking about your life here."

"I know," I said. "But I was taught that sometimes you have to fight for what you want."

Keel shook his head, but I sensed his resolve was wavering. He didn't want to die, or leave me; he'd just convinced himself he was all out of options. I turned to him, balanced myself on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, forcing him to face me. "It's about your life too," I reminded him, leaning in to leave a lingering kiss on his cheek, then another on his lips. "I think we both maybe forgot that for a while. But I want you to live. I want nothing more in the world." I knew I'd regret confessing that the next time I had to stare down Nosferatu Keel, but to hell with it, it was true. He could use it as ammunition if he wanted.

"So what do you propose?" Keel asked, clasping his hands behind my back and caving completely.

"That we get cleaned up, and then go and get ourselves some answers."

"And just where are these answers going to come from?"

"Where do you think? My father," I told him. "The way I see it, if Nosferatu know about sorcerers and keep books on them; wouldn't the reverse be true? Maybe the sorcerers even know some stuff we don't."

Keel frowned, and extracted himself from our embrace. Did I say something wrong?

"What makes you so sure he's going to help us?" he asked. Keel was staring out at the city again, so I could only see his apprehensive expression in profile. "If you think your father isn't just as likely to kill me as the Nosferatu, than you don't know sorcerers."

"Well, if all your options are 'death,' what do you have to lose?" I countered. Maybe I shouldn't have been fighting so hard to hold onto Keel; maybe I should have tried harder to cling to my doubts from last night, when he was a bloodthirsty, unapologetic monster; but he had a habit of unravelling my defenses without even trying. I found myself back to hoping that we could both get through this alive, without either of us turning to the dark side. Keel hadn't died yet, so what else had the vampires been wrong about? What else didn't they know?