Chapter 4

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November 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I tried telling a teacher about me being bullied. They said that they haven't seen anything so they couldn't report it. DUMB! If somone says their beying bullied, wouldn't you believe them?! Well this teacher didn't. 

Mallory has been concerned about me lately, but I couldn't let myself get in her way of being the best captain for cheerleading. Ever since middle school she's wanted to be a cheerleader. A captain in fact, and now that she has a chance to be on varsity, I don't want to mess that up for her. She deserves it.

It's been about a week since I started cutting myself. Since then I started wearing long sleave shirts so my parents or Mallory wouldn't see. Everytime I see Mall I almost go and tell her everything, but then I remember the words that Eliza said to me, 'If you let your sister get involved, you will totally regret it.'

I just don't get why I have to be the victim. Just because I'm bigger than everyone else, doesn't mean anything. I'm just like everyone. 

Life sucks!

-Molly Anderson

That was the third journal entry that I have read. The more I read them, the more I am angry at myself. I should have been able to notice that there was something wrong with her.

"Mallory! Adam is here!" yelled my mother. 

Since our little heart to heart talk last night we have been extremely close. Yeah, it's been two days, but everything about him just felt so right. 

After he explained the story about his dad and then God, I asked him to tell me more about him. So he did. He told me all that he knew. Who He was. What He does. The story about Him. I wanted to know more. From what he told me, he could help me get through this project, as it was getting a little rough with Rebecca and everyone else getting involved.

We talked all night, me in his lap, him holding me, it felt so right. Then my dad called me, paniking because I never came home. Adam walked me home, kissed my cheek and walked across the street to his house.

Walking inside the house, I had a smile on my face and it never did fall. I took all the gunk off my body, took a shower and went to bed thinking about Adam. 

Today was the first day of me putting all of my gunk. I think I did well, I couldn't exactly tell but I'm sure Adam could tell me.

"Coming!" I had yelled as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. "Bye daddy!" I yelled kissing him on the cheek and walking out to Adam who was waiting in his car.

When he noticed me coming, a smile appeared on his face. "Hey." he said as I got in the car.

"Hello." I smiled. Just the talk with him last night made me smile. I don't think anything could ruin my smile.

"Looking good." he said as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Oh please. I had to put all of this on myself this morning. I usually have a stylist my parents hired to help me look like this. I felt like I missed something."

"Well you did miss something." he smiled as he reached behind me. Before I know it, he pulled out a rose.

"Where did you get that?"

"I can't tell you." he smiled handing me the flower.

"Thanks." I smelled it. "I love it." I wasn't sure what type of relationship we had, but I really didn't care. He seems to like me no matter what, and he can make me smile. That counts for something. 

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