Chapter Twenty-Five: Love's Divine

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Chapter Twenty-Five: Love's Divine

Excitement still lingered in the halls and I was finding it hard to ignore them all. Yes, the students had ceased their discussing my wife but their eagerness for thanksgiving break was aggravating and I wasn't sure if it was because they were all just too damn chipper or if I was resenting their happiness because I wasn't getting what I wanted. The weekend was over, thank God because I didn't think I could go another day with Ron's patronizing tone. He wanted me to get this whole divorce thing over with so I could move on but he needed to understand there was an entire process.

I needed to get in contact with my lawyer about who got what and when dates were going to be set and...it was all just a big mess that made my head hurt and me consider calling the whole thing off. Liz had her fun and I had...

I looked up from my papers and gazed over at Kat.

Her head was down as she took her test and occasionally she'd bite her lower lip and knit her brows with confusion to a question she didn't understand.

As if sensing someone watching her, her gaze lifted and met mine. For a brief second, there was a smile on her face then it dimmed as she repositioned herself in her seat and lowered her gaze again though her brows were even lower as if she couldn't figure out why it was I was staring at her so intently.

...nothing. I had nothing anymore. I didn't have Kat, I don't think I ever did. Especially not with her being with Wade. He was always watching, always catching on to when I was watching Kat or thinking about her and I wished he would stop. It was hard enough trying not to get caught in the first place and now that he knew about our situation it was hard for me to keep my cool exterior when all I wanted to do was declare my feelings for Kat though what those feeling were I still wasn't sure. I certainly couldn't express anything with them being an item. And even if I could, even if they weren't, what would I tell her?

That I didn't like her being with Wade? That every time he touched her it made me want to punch him in the face? That when she would get pleasure from his touch, it upset me so much that I fantasized ways of killing or torturing him? No. That was me just being jealous over a woman I-I what? That I what? Loved? Did I love Katerina? I obviously liked her more than I did my wife because when I thought of my wife being intimate with someone else it didn't piss me off nearly as much. It didn't make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, it didn't make my heart accelerate with anger and it sure as hell didn't make me murderous. Not even when I first found out Liz had cheated on me did I feel this type of emotion and now that I was I didn't know what it meant.

I looked down at the paperwork on my desk again, not liking the look Wade was giving me and wished the day would pass by faster. Or rather that the semester would pass by faster so I could get the twins out of my class and Kat off my mind. Maybe if I wasn't seeing her everyday it would be easier to forget. But did I want to make her a memory?

When there was five minutes until the first bell, I alerted my class of their time and Kat stood probably finished with her test. It was seconds after she sat that Wade handed in his papers and I hoped he hadn't cheated off her paper. The tests weren't identical but some of the questions were and with him sitting right next to her it wouldn't have been hard for him to just glance over.

I tried not to smile at the thought of taking their test to principal hobbling and getting him expelled, however I failed when I noticed he was staring at me with confusion.

I shook myself mentally to stop that thought.

If I did that then he'd out me and Kat and I couldn't let that happen no matter how much I told myself she meant nothing to me.

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