Issues (Renjun)

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Your eyes shot open, pupils dilated, heart pounding in your chest.  Your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and you kicked the covers off in an attempt to cool off.  These nightmares had been haunting you ever since you were a kid, and you were a senior in high school, now.  You checked your phone to see the time.  3 am.  You decided to text Renjun, knowing he would be able to make you feel better.

You: Hey, I had another nightmare.  I don't know what I did to deserve all this.  I'm sick and tired of feeling vulnerable.

There was no response.  You didn't really expect one since it was 3 am.  Reluctantly, you set your phone on your nightstand and tried to fall back asleep, but your body was loaded with adrenaline.  Bits and pieces of the nightmare kept coming back to you, and you tried your hardest to push them away.  It was the same thing every time.  You hated falling asleep because every time you closed your eyes, you saw him.  Giving up on sleeping, you pulled out your diary you used to write in as a child, slowly rifling through the worn pages.

Where did he go?  Why did he do that and leave?  He knew how broken I was... why did he leave me? 

You traced a finger over those last few sentences.  That had been the turning point in your life.  Nothing since then had been the same.  

You slammed the diary shut, collapsing on your bed and staring at the moonlight that penetrated your curtains.  You weren't sure when that light had turned to sunlight, but before you knew it, you were struggling to your feet, throwing on clothes to go to school.  You checked your phone, noticing Renjun had read your text already but had not replied.  Irritated, you sent the same text to Taeyong.  He was your childhood friend, so he knew you really well.  He knew how to deal with you when you were upset like this.  

You: I don't feel like I'm good enough.

Taeyong: What?  What makes you say that?

You:  I had another nightmare.  I don't think Renjun is going to want me much longer.  I'm basically a no one to him... or to anyone.

Taeyong: I'll drive you to school day.  Give me 10 min.

You smiled, knowing that Taeyong was always there to pick up the pieces.  You were waiting on the front porch when he rolled around, gesturing for you to hop in.  Even though he was four years older and in a different phase of life, he treated you so well.  If only everyone could be like that.

"Don't let your nightmares bother you anymore," Taeyong told you.  "We can't go back in time and change what happened.  But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

"Right," you groaned, staring at the landscape rolling past your window.

You got to school, and Taeyong, as chivalrous has he was, helped you with your backpack and gave you a reassuring hug and a kiss on the forehead to make you feel better.  Instantly, you felt your heart start beating normally again.

"I'll see you later.  Have a good day," Taeyong waved, and you turned around only to see your boyfriend Renjun.

"Hi," you smiled, trying to slip your hand into his, but he drew his hand away, shoving it in his pocket.

"Let's break up," he said coldly, and you felt your heart plummet.  What was he talking about all of a sudden?

"What?" you bit your bottom lip to keep it from trembling.  "Is it because I sent you that text at 3?  I'm so sorry.  Did I wake you up?  Let's  be logical here."

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