im bored

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I was bored

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I was bored. So there's some nice trans-related pics^^^^

Imma write something here now-

I actually hate being trans...
When i told my parents i like boys i was told to keep it quiet.... that was awkward enough. But idk im sorta shit scared about telling ppl im trans... like it'll be awkward. I'll get told to shush. Idk who would have what opinion.... idk if it'd cause any arguements etc within the family?
Idk its just scary.
I have thought what if i just try ignore it? What if i try and just make myself appear as a feminine boy? And thats it.
But no. That does not work. That's not me. I still have my dysporia. I'm a girl. A trans girl. And it sucks.

I have two friends who know irl and like that's ok.
Idek wt thats got to do with anything rn ugh.

Anyway. I. Hate. Being. Trans.
It. Sucks.
It's Hell.

No. One. Understands.
No one irl anyway. Its just. Ughh idek.

I get mad at myself for being trans sometimes... and like its not MY fault. It's not a choice! I wouldn't choose to be trans. Not Ever.
Like,
Who tf would CHOOSE this. Dysphoria. Potential to lose everyone you love? Potentially more at risk to hate crimes, discrimination, violence etc... like ??? No.

And while I'm at that point.
U NEED DYSPHORIA TO BE TRANS.
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
U NEED GENDER DYSPHORIA.
U CANT BE TRANS IF U DONT HAVE DYSPHORIA!
I have an internet friend.... and he says he's trans. But he says u dont need dysphoria to be trans 😠
If you dont have dysphoria, and you go get surgeries or hrt etc thennn you're gonne be unhappy!!! You're then gonna actually feel wrong and disconnected ! And u dont wanna make urself feel that!

Ugh sorry idek wt this ramble is.

Im sorta sick of being in the closet ngl.
I'm half ready to say fuck it. And just come out. I wanna go college in tights and a skirt. I wanna go outside in make-up. I wanna get HRT. I wanna embrace the girl me. The real me.
But also, would that even happen....?
Or would my parents dismiss it. Not let me do that.... would i be told to hide it... that im.not a girl?? Will.i be told not to tell anyone and to forget it?
Ugh idek life is confusing

Anyway idek wt to.put now
Bye

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