The Decisions of a Lifetime

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sorry for mistakes


My eyelids peeled away from each other like two lovers desperately clinging to one another or like when you have pink eye. My limbs were stiff, as if I hadn't moved a thousand years.

I took in a huge gulp of air and for the first time in a long while I felt my lungs expand as they filled wtih oxygen. My chest spasmed causing my whole body to descend into a coughing fit. My brain sloshed against the sides of my skull and the worse headahc eI've ever had made itself known.

I don't know what I was expectin, but it sure as hell wasn't this. I took another deep breath, but this time I could feel the phlem lodge itself in my throat. This time when I coughed it was wet and slimy-sounding.

I felt absolutely horrible.

I dragged my arm up and slung it across my eyes as the small amount of light allowed into the room became too much. I didn't get a chance to look around, but by the silence that surrounded me I assumed nobody was here. Or even around to hear my moans.

What day was it? Did I miss the wedding?

My mind felt like a washing machine as it turned over everything I just found out. I need to move.

I need to get out of bed and figure out what the fuck is going on.

Each movement hurt, no matter how big or small. I moved my big toe and my entire leg throbbed with an intensity that I've never felt before. It was hard to believe that all of this happened just by falling. 

You would think that the longer I was awake  the better I would be getting, but even my arm, which I had slung across my eyes, felt heavier. My fingertips buzzed with a dangerous numbness. 

Something was defintely wrong, more wrong than it already was. 

I needed to get out of here. the thought flitted across my mind at the same time that I heard footsteps. footsteps that as I listened paused right outside my door. 

How ironic? 

There was a brief pause where I was left wondering if they were going to come in or keep going on their way. I could actaually use some help. I wanted to call out but something held me back. 

The  numbness of my fingertips crpt up to my hands and the throbbing in my legs intensified. My heart pounded against my ribs, echoing its own torrturous tempo in my ears. My body was slowly shutting down again and there was nothing I could do. 

"Hello?" My voice cracked with the smallest of efforts, "Is someone there?" My cheeks ached and a sudden headahce attacked my temples. "Please help." My voice rose with my fear. 

There was some whispering behind the door. At least I think there was. The sounds of my lungs rappidly inflating and deflating made it a little hard to hear what was being said. 

They heard me right? They had to. There was no way that they didn't. 

"Please." This time my voice failed me and all I could do was whisper. 

Damn. This was dramatic as hell. 

I thought I heard some more whispered before a very distinct, "Just do it." 

After that there was a flurry of action that had my head spinning. The numbness crept up to my elbows as the door swung open. It sounded like someone fell by the evidenced sounds of two loud thuds followed by a girlish shriek. 

"Eep! I can't do this." I knew who that was. The one and only Lady Harringson. 

"It's either her or the duke."  I did not know who the second person was. He was male, that much I could tell, but byond that I had no idea. I was sure that I hadn't met him before though. My arm still covered my eyes and I found that I had no more strength or feeling to move it. 

"L-l-Lady Harringson?" My voice was raspy as I struggled to draw in air.

"She's awake!" Her voice lowered to a harsh whisper as she tried to talk to the mystery man without having me overhear, which was near impossible since the room was dead silent except for talking. 

"Hmm, appears so." The other voice sounded bored with the conversation. 

"Hmm, appears so!" Lady Harringson mocked the man, "What do you mean by that. I cannot possibly do this now."

"Of course you can. I do not see how this changes anything."

"This changes everything!" Lady Harringson was still loudly whispering, even with the man replying in his normal voice. 

My brain fogged with its struggle to keep track of the conversation and I felt hot, like I was buring up from the inside. 

"Lady Harringson?" Now my voice whispered, "Water?" I suddenly had a craving. I flet like if I didn't get water then I would literally die. I was a lost man in the desert.

"Ehh, she was asleep before, now she is awake. You can do this either way. There is no change." The man's sentences were very short and clipped. 

Why were they ignoring me? I just wanted water. Then they could continued their conversation elsewhere.

I was tired, very tired. I wanted water and sleep. 

"No?" Lady Harringson's voice was small. 

"Was that a question?"


There was a long and intense pause. I could feel very little as I started to slip away, but I could sense the tension as it poured out of the both of them and filled the small room. 

"I don't want to do this." Lady Harringson was the first to break the silence. 

"Well, you will." 

"Why don't you just do it? You're already here. Does it really matter if I do it or you."

"It has to be you."

"Why?" Even in my half-dead state I could tell she was on the brink of hysterics.

"That is the order that things must go in."

"But," She sniffled, "I don't understand."

"You don't have to, just do it." His voice hardened even further. 

"No." I didn't know what they were arguing about, but they shoudl really move it to another room. I'm tired. Too tired to worry about my thirst. Too tired to worry about much now that I think about it. 

"You know what will happen if you don't do this." I had a visualization in my head of a shadow made of darkness standing behind Hazel, trying to coerce her into doing its bidding. "She will take your place and not only will you be penniless, but also a spinster. You will have to beg for food."

"No!" I could visualize the tears running down her perfect porcelain skin.

"Yes, she will take your place as the duchess and you will become nothing."

"No no no." Her voice was muffled by her sobbing, "That can't happen."

"It's either her or the duke. Which one do you want, you have to decide."

There was another pause before the man spoke up again, "Are you really going to let this girl take your place?"

There was some sniffling before a slightly more firm response was given, "No."

"Are you going to wonder what could have been while you beg on the streets?" The man's  voice was still calm as could be. 

"No." Lady Harringson's voice had changed as she reached her conclusion. Her decision. 

"Then do it."

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