(Qannen) why would I cut my hand off

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"I have torn the room apart Qannen stop being a bitch it's not here OK?"

Qannen risks another look at Qynka's hands and turns away, wincing. "What should we do? Should we cut one of your hands off?"

"QANNEN WHY WOULD WE CUT MY HAND OFF?"

"Idk to make it hurt less."

"It doesn't hurt!"

"Well it looks really f*cking weird."

"I KNOW HOW IT LOOKS.

"When did you last have it?"

"I fell asleep holding it like a normal person. Did you have someone over last night? One of your little slutty bitches probably stole it."

"Of course I had someone over last night, the_real_deity was here, but her hands were on my vagina all night so there's literally no way."

"Just, f*ck, just check your screen please," Qynka says, putting her hands on her hips, and then crossing her arms, and then holding them out in front of her like a zombie. Like what do you DO with your hands if they're not holding your screen?

"OK OK hold on." Qannen swipes her screen and the map loads. "It's. It's here. It's still here."

"Are you sure?"

Qannen checks the map again and then scans the room and notices two zonnys on the wall, watching them. Zonnys are a fact of life in Wood2. No one could even guess how many there are, but they're everywhere, all the time, filming literally everything. Without them shows wouldn't happen. They capture the moments that create the shows that comprise life in Wood2, the mechanism by which you attract the followers that get you all the nice things you want.

One of the zonnys takes a tentative step towards the door. "Keep breaking things," Qannen says.

"OK," Qynka says, immediately picking up an empty champagne bottle and hurling it against the wall. As the sounds of destruction continue, Qannen walks back out into the hall and down the stairs, following the dot on the 3D overlay view of their apartment. One of the zonnys from Qynka's room follows along, crawling along the ceiling and walls, while another creeps towards her from the bottom of the stairs.

Qynka continues downstairs, through the chill-out area, past what used to be their parents bedroom and is now mostly piles of clothes the sisters are bored of having. It looks like Qynka's screen might be in one of the downstairs closets? Which made no sense? But-

"Why good morning Miss Qannen!" a voice behind Qannen says. Qannen turns to find four and half feet's worth of teenage girl emerging from the downstairs bathroom. She's wearing a minuscule black crop top, shiny black leggings with white trim, and white Cocoplex sneakers with three-inch lift.

"You surprised me!" her shrill voice continues. "I hope I didn't wake you, I was just trying to tidy up for Miss Qynka's return home." As proof she brandishes a sponge in the hand that's not holding her screen.

Qynka is suddenly right there next to Qannen. "Exactly who and what the f*ck is this."

"Good morning Miss Qynka! I'm Kessl8, the maid."

"She's the new maid," Qannen says, without removing her eyes from Kessl8.

"What happened to the old maid?" Qynka asks.

"Idk she died or some sh*t," Qannen says.

"I'm so thrilled to meet you, Qynka. If there's anything you-"

Qannen's hand shoots out, grabbing Kessl8 by the throat, pinning her to the wall. "Bitch where the f*ck is my sister's screen."

Kessl8's eyes bug out in horror as she struggles to breathe.

"We have a new maid already?" Qynka asks, mostly to herself. "I missed the season finale of ServiTude? I'm so upset."

Qannen relaxes her grip slightly, just enough for Kessl8 to speak. "I know transition can be difficult but I promise I'm committed to doing such a good-"

Qannen reapplies all the strength in her hands to Kessl8's neck. "Bitch I stg if the next words out of your tiny ass mouth aren't an explanation of why you stole Qynka's screen and what you did with it I will snap your neck right off your stupid body."

Kessl8's face turns bluish purple as her eyes roll back in her head.

"Wait maybe she doesn't know anything," Qynka says.

"She knows," Qannen says.

Kessl8 tries moving her mouth but isn't able to get any words out.

"She's attempting communication," Qynka says. Qannen relaxes a fraction of her hold on the maid's neck.

"I wanted everything to be perfect for Miss Qynka's first morning home," Kessl8 rasps. "I'm so sorry, maybe I moved some things by accident when I was in her room?" Her eyes glance towards the closet at the end of the hall.

Qannen drops Kessl8 to the floor and stalks towards the closet.

"I'm so sorry," Kessl8 says, picking herself up. "I didn't turn the lights on b/c I knew you needed your rest but I really wanted you to wake up with everything perfect for your first morning back home. And now I've ruined everything. I don't know what I can even do to make it up to you."

"Here," Qannen says, emerging from the closet with Qynka's screen.

"MY BABY," Qynka says, rushing to grab it. From the sounds it's making it's basically overflowing with incoming messages.

"Oh no, I really did move it, I'm so sorry, Miss Qynka, I can only imagine how scary that must have been for you. And what a low opinion you must have of me and my work ethic now. It's beyond mortifying to have screwed up so thoroughly on my first day. I know this is not exactly five-star service but I can promise you I'll-"

"We have a meeting in the tower with Daddy," Qynka says, staring in horror at her screen. "We were supposed to be there an hour ago."

Qannen grabs Qynka's hand to see her screen and confirm this. Then they both look over at Kessl8, who, with a small smile and an almost imperceptible tilt of her head, turns from pure innocence to unadulterated villainy.

"Wow good luck getting across the city in time. I can't believe it's your first day back and you're going to be late for a meeting at the Tower. Not a good look." She does a small curtsy and races off, exiting the apartment before Qannen can get her hands on her again.

"Holy f*ck," Qannen says.

"OK wow she is really good at her job," Qynka says.

///

What do you think of Kessl8, she's a side character but she's kind of one of my favorites. She'll be back later, causing trouble for Qannen & Qynka in a variety of ways. Are you starting to get a sense of the world? I'll reveal more in each chapter of this episode, but keep me posted on things you're wondering about, things that don't seem to hang together as we progress. THANK YOU for reading, please vote and tell me what you think. You're the best. Has anyone told you that today? I'm serious. You're good. Next up: we jump back in time to the Recovery show, and find out what happened with Qynka's dead girlfriend.

 Next up: we jump back in time to the Recovery show, and find out what happened with Qynka's dead girlfriend

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