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A couple of days passed with Ethan anywhere in sight. The more I thought about what I said to him the more I hated myself. Aunt Sophie noted -a little too nicely- that I was a bit harsh on him. That was her gentle way of saying I did a really bad thing. When I asked Timothy about him, he told me that Ethan usually goes AWOL for some time and then shows up.

I took it as a good sign. That was good, right? It meant he didn't drop out of school because something I said. There was still hope. As my frustration build up I wished he would show up and let me apologize to him and get over with this. I wanted to restore my inner peace. I needed to restore my inner peace. I hate this guilt-eating-thingy.

By now I have learned where all my classes were. There were moments were I might get a little confused at first until I remembered which way it was. Abby was my everyday lunchtime buddy. Whoever finished their class first would wait for the other one. We didn't set an actual rule for that, but somehow it's what we've been doing. She talked a lot about her house and family. They all seemed sweet and funny. I met her sister the other day when she came to pick her up, she was really sweet.

Day three, English class, he was there.


I waited. I sat at my desk and waited. With every passing minute my outrage and frustration increased. I didn't have a plan how to approach her. My sole focus orbited on just being here. As deeply as it bothered me I felt like I needed to explain my actions, if not somehow apologize. That annoying feeling that I should say I'm sorry bugged me. Maybe I wouldn't use specifically those words.

Hearing the others walk in and take their places had me anticipating her walking in any minute. I kept an ear on the entrance, listening to what seemed like the last person walking in. Maybe she wasn't coming today or maybe she asked to change her classes or that she walked in, saw me -the jerk- and just turned around and left. My mood was getting darker with every thought. And with every passing minute, the reason that made me attend today seemed to get smaller and more stupid.

"Um... hi," said a soft voice close to me. 

The Floral and sweet fruit smell filled my lungs. "Hi..." I said in a strict voice and that was all I said.

I didn't realize that my body stiffened and my jaw clenched tightly until she said, "Relax! I moved my bag to under the table," I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. She continued, "God! You have a guy tripping over your bag once and he holds it against you. Sheesh!".

Still didn't know if she was joking or not. I hadn't figured out her vocal expression yet. Denying words started to form in my head and come out of my mouth. It was the small giggle that stopped me. She was joking. Only then I eased a little. I must have looked as stiff as a board. My shoulders relaxed a little and jaw lightened the pressure. I felt that one side of my mouth twitching.

Listening to the regular sounds around me, desks and chairs being pulled and pushed, non-stop chatter some were loud and noisy, heavy bags loaded with books dropping on the floor with loud thuds. And there was the constant tap... tap... tap that caught my attention. She was taping her pen to the table and I started to tense up too.

"Sit elsewhere if you don't want to sit here!" hidden accusation in my words. It was more like an order. Actually, I barked at her. For some reason, I was infuriated. Just a minute ago she cracked a joke about me being uptight, I took that as a good sign. Apparently, I wasn't only blind I was stupid too.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, "You change your place if you don't want to sit here I am comfortable where I am."

I have to admit, and for the second time, that caught me off guard.

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