Can't Run Now

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Your hair reminded me of fall leaves
yellow with a tinge of brown, looking like it would continue to change as time went on
Your smile, well your smile showed joy

Then I found out you're smart,
And you're even nice, and actually
Kinda funny
And 'wow' I thought
'Could this kid be any more perfect?'
I wish I had realized earlier on,
I wish I had reminded myself earlier on,
Perfection is non existent

I liked to think, you were starting to like me
I honestly sometimes don't believe anyone could like me
Then we got to talking
And to some degree
I regret it
Yet
I don't

You started off with some light conversation
But then it turned into different kind of conversation
When you asked me
'Have you ever vaped?'
I should've stopped messaging right then
But I gave you the benefit of the doubt

Of course, I replied no because I was taught that it's wrong
And I asked you if you had
And you said
'Maybe'

I told you it was wrong,
You said you'd rather live life and try things
Which to be frank, it's still wrong

Your next question, 'Have you ever had alcohol?'
Once again I gave you the benefit of the doubt,
And once again I shouldn't have

Now let me warn you,
At this moment, your fall leaf hair
And your oh so perfect smile
With your honors classes and kindness
They did not matter
Because I don't hangout with people
Who are rebels with no cause

At this point I wanted to run
Run far away from the conversation
But then you said a sentence that would wrap a ball and chain around my ankle
And hold me in place

'It helps with my anxiety'

In my life, I've been taught
To never turn someone away
If they reach out about struggles with anxiety, depression, suicide, or anything mental health related in general
So I could not run now

You told me of your struggles
With anxiety
Depression
Suicidal thoughts
And I told you
You need to tell your parents

But you refused
Most likely in fear
About the drugs
I told you over and over
Please get help

And it wasn't until I threatened to tell them myself
That you said you'd tell your father
And I hope to the universe, that you keep to your word
Because I don't know if I can be here to help you

Your hair reminded me of fall leaves
yellow with a tinge of brown, looking like it would continue to change as time went on
Your smile, well your smile showed joy

Then I found out you're not always that smart,
And you're probably nice, and actually
Kinda concerning
And I remember when I thought
'wow' When I thought
'Could this kid be any more perfect?'
I wish I had realized earlier on,
I wish I had reminded myself earlier on,
Perfection is non existent

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