Watching The Football

*** ADDENDUM TO INDUCTION MANUAL WTF-4Q-8 ***

LAST REVISED 2039-10-27

Memo author: Gen. Sykes, A. L. - click here for contact database

1. INTRODUCTION

i. We understand many of you will have further questions after reading this induction manual, particularly the section to which this memo is attached.

ii. This addendum will attempt to anticipate and answer the most immediate, drawing on our own experience of inductees and years of WTF management.

2. QUESTIONS

i. WHY NOT JUST KILL HIM?

A common first question, but one with no simple answer. First, insanity is not a capital offense. While it is arguable his willingness to kill billions is (and see 2(iii) below), the fact remains he did not.

Also, recall from section 12(d)(iii) that he is not alone. His wife, children, and many former senior staff are also inside the bubble. To eliminate him and end the project without any risk of information leakage would require killing them all.

ii. ISN'T IT INHUMANE TO NOT LET THOSE OTHERS KNOW?

A common second question, and one with a more simple answer: yes, it is. But every day that passes without telling them makes it more difficult to do so, and their lives and happiness must be weighed against the uncountable number that would be affected were the truth to escape.

This is also why you have all been pre-fitted with neural injectors. We apologize for doing so before you fully understood the reasons for their necessity; but we do not apologize for our actions because we know, with absolute certainty, we saved the world. Remember that, and be proud to serve.

iii. IS IT TRUE YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM AND FAILED?

Yes.

As outlined in IM-WTF-1A-3, the WTF project was devised in the late 2010s after one too many near-misses with the then-incumbent. The author of this addendum was involved at an early stage of planning, and during development of the now-extant 'football deflation scenario,' a separate proposal by the author led to the so-called 'puncture contingency.' Under this plan, a single trusted member of the personal guard was tasked with immediate neutralization of an incumbent insane enough to order and confirm a pre-emptive strike.

In May 2032, on what is now called 'Cardiac Monday,' the then-trusted member attempted to carry out the puncture contingency, as so ordered, in response to such confirmation. However, we had not sufficiently accounted for the incumbent's own paranoia, which led to his own prior appointment of two personal guards tasked with anticipating and eliminating any such contingency. 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

iv. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY START HAVING KIDS?

This is highly unlikely, because the water we supply to the bubble is packed with sterility compounds, retooled from ethnocentric experiments in localized communities during the 2020s. Those experiments have long ceased, but the findings were genuinely useful for our situation. The phenomenon of sterility caused by radiation exposure is well-known; we didn't even have to make that one up. The occupants therefore have come to accept they are the last generation.

Assuming otherwise good health, and absent a mutual-killing event, we anticipate the last surviving member of the community (most likely the daughter, who was seven years old on Cardiac Monday) to perish within sixty years at most. However, our medical experts are confident that owing to insanity brought on by prolonged confinement — what you and I call 'going stir crazy' — survival is likely to be of even shorter duration, and the bubble may be able to close as early as 2070.

v. WHAT IF A WTF STAFFER GOES ROGUE AND TELLS THEM?

One advantage of the post-war scenario is its singular and unknowable nature. We have therefore built a time delay into all broadcasts, transmissions, and communications that we send into the bubble, be they scripted material or interactive 'radio' conversations. This allows all such transmissions to pass through multiple coordinators, ensuring the truth never reaches the occupants. The delay does not need to be explained, as there is nothing to suggest it is not entirely normal.

Yes, there have been several attempts to inform the occupants, both by broadcast scriptwriters and actors themselves. Those staffers' neural injectors were activated without hesitation.

vi. ARE YOU LITERALLY SAYING HIS LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MINE?

Two people walk down the street. The first person pulls a gun, ready to attack the second. But the second does likewise in response, and shoots first. The first person dies, and we can say with confidence that their death is justified — not because their life was less important, but because it was they who upset the peaceful status quo.

vii. HAVE THEY EVER TRIED TO LEAVE?

Another advantage of the scenario is the bubble occupants' complete reliance on outside information. Remember, none of the people concerned are scientists, and many are of questionable intelligence and comprehension to begin with. From the moment they were first sealed inside the bubble by WTF staffers on Cardiac Monday (see IM-WTF-2C-1) they have been told the safety lock will not open until Geiger indicators fall below 'safe levels.' What they have not been told is that we operate the Geiger counters.

viii. DOES HE REALLY THINK IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?

Not only that, he's convinced we won. If anything could have shaken his belief in such an outcome, WTF would not need to exist.

ix. WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO GO OUTSIDE AGAIN?

The WTF facility has several pleasant and well-designed outdoor areas accessible to staffers, provided you have the right pass. See IM-WTF-9B-5.

Communication from the gardens to the world at large is literally impossible, and entire branches of WTF security and technology research work very hard to keep it that way. This is what you signed up for; so the rest of the world can continue living in peace, believing he had a heart attack.

x. 2070 IS STILL A LONG WAY OFF.

And people say nobody has a job for life any more.

*** ADDENDUM ENDS ***