5 | in which she almost kills god

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When he comes back,
Don't you dare forget how broken you were
When he left.


Crystal Monroe

|in which she almost kills god|

Everything happens in the blink of an eye, which surprises me because all my knowledge of road accidents comes from serials and movies which show that they happen in slow motion. Now, though, I realize that the world does not stop when you hit someone with your car. Instead, everything speeds up.

As soon as I stop the car and jump out of it, there are people all around me. I try to make my way to the person I hit but a crowd is already forming, blocking my access to him -- he's male, and that's all I can tell from his crooked body lying roadside and surrounded by strangers who want to make sure he's okay. I hear voices, so many of them, failing to understand anything except the fact that I might've just killed someone.

A few minutes later, I'm escorted by a couple of police officers into a bustling police station. My heart beats in my ears and I can't formulate words, barely able to answer all the questions they ask me.

"She's clearly shaken," says one at last, his face a blur.

"Get the CCTV footage," calls another.

I'm seated in a cell when another officer comes and tells me I'm free to go. "It was an accident," he says, appeasing me with the declaration.

"I'm not a murderer," I breathe.

The officer nods, sighing through his nose.

Walking out of the station on wobbly knees, I'm handed the keys of my car by another officer who doesn't say a word. My hands shake when I unlock the car and get in, my fingers trembling around the steering wheel when I begin to drive again. My brain cries out. I shouldn't be driving. I could hit someone else.

Nonetheless, I need to make sure the man I hit is okay. If he's alive, I might be able to sleep at night.

I make it to the bustling state hospital and barge into the emergency room. The receptionist doesn't answer me when I ask her where the accident patients are held, not even when I nearly yell at her. I finally take a step back, huffing out a breath of frustration. That's when I notice a couple of police officers walking out of one of the corridors and I assume that must lead to the person I wish to see.

Assuming that's the case, I head into the corridor and notice the sign 'Emergency' flashing bright red above the glass doors leading along another hallway. I pass through them, expecting to find someone who will give me the answers I need. I finally stop outside an operation theatre and see a woman speaking to a man in white.

"Please tell me he'll be okay!"

The hysteric voice of the female reaches me and I focus on the young woman with red hair pleading with the doctor. Her mascara runs down her freckled cheeks, leaving dark trails in their wake. She doesn't wipe it away, too distressed for whoever she's here for.

"We'll try --"

"No," she cries out, throwing her hands into the air. "You have to do something. I swear if anything happens to him, I'll kill whoever hit him with their car. I swear, I'm going to --"

"I'm sorry," I blurt out before I know what I'm doing.

The woman spins around to look at me, her eyes a shade darker than Jeremy's blue ones. 

"You?" she sobs. "Who are you?"

"I ... I hit someone with my car today," I say uncertainly. "I don't know if you're with him but ..."

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