45) 'The Gayest Moments In Life Are Spent Among Friends' And Other...

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45) 'The Gayest Moments In Life Are Spent Among Friends' And Other Conclusions One Is Surprisingly Accepting Of Even If The Wording Makes Use Of Deliberate Double Entendre

Benjamin was scared. He didn't say this out loud, because that was scarier. What was the scariest would've been Thijmen's evil plan were it not for the alternative, and so he settled with moderate levels of fear, like a pterodactyl.

Not that there was much of a plan yet. The fact that the boy who'd been brought to the school as a delinquent didn't know how to be a bad student was wonderfully ironic, but not very helpful. It wasn't easy to think of something to do that was bad enough for the counselor to decide he needed to stay. He'd already cursed at teachers, skipped class and smoked on the school grounds without getting in trouble for it.

In conclusion, he needed to do something really extreme.

Since the most badass thing Benjamin had ever done was use a permanent marker to correct the message on the wall in the toilet stall behind the science classrooms (it's your mom, not you're mom) he wasn't of much help to Thijmen.

But maybe the rest of the squad could be.

Thijmen came to sit with the five boys during lunch and announced, "I need your help."

"I have candles at home," said Heston.

"What would he need candles for?" asked Pi.

"For summoning a demon, of course."

"Have you ever summoned a demon?" asked Martin.

"Yeah, it wanted to impregnate me and—"

Thijmen looked like he was counting to ten in his head, so Benjamin quickly said, "No, he doesn't need help summoning a demon."

"I also have salt if—"

"What I need," Thijmen cut in, "is a plan."

Messiah looked intrigued. "What kind of plan?"

"Due to good behavior, the school wants to send me back early, but I don't want to."

The squad caught on quickly. Pi and Messiah exchanged glances. Martin tried to exchange glances with Heston out of desperation, but Heston was too intent on getting an obtrusion out of his nasal orifice to pretend to care. Thus, it was Pi who spoke first. "Why two months before the year ends, though? It makes no sense."

They were so cool they didn't eat in front of their lockers anymore; they ate at the cafeteria. Granted, the table had a broken leg, so the left side tilted down a bit, and it happened to be right in the corner next to the grease leftovers and thus subject to people making a beeline and bumping into them, but it was something. Martin wore sunglasses for no apparent reason and no one had insulted them yet. Still, Thijmen had to stand and Benjamin sat right at the corner, with half of him suspended into the air. He said, "Long story," and then, "my parents betrayed us," when they stared at him anyway. Since this wasn't enough, apparently, he added, "they don't like Thijmen smoking in their bathroom."


"So you're trying to stay by suddenly behaving badly?" Pi raised his eyebrows, "That never fails."

"Do you have a better idea, punk?" Benjamin asked.

"Just saying."

Martin slid off the sunglasses. Everyone turned to look at him, expectant, but he chickened out and slid them back on. Around that time, Messiah timidly raised his hand. He said, "How about—"

"Inserting flesh-eating bacteria into the principal's office," volunteered Heston.

"Running naked across the hallway screaming COWS ARE PEOPLE TOO," added Martin. Benjamin smacked his leg.

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