I wish you could see what I see

I wish you could see what I see ch1

I was outside college waiting for Shane to pick me up, it was winter and the snow was slowly falling then landing and melting quickly. I should probably mention that Shane's my boyfriend of 2 years, I met him at college, we don't really have a sort of lovey dovey relationship, we don't think about the future or go on dates or anything. I live with him but that's about it, we kiss every once in a while but usually he does his own thing and I do mine. Your probably thinking 'Why the hell are you going out with him then?!' I really don't know the answer to that question, I guess I just feel safe around him, I do love him I just don't say it.

''Jane!'' A loud voice interuppted my thoughts. I turned around to see Shane leaning against his white car, which actually doesn't look white because he never cleans it. He looked cold, as was I.

My name's Jane by the way, I guess im just normal, I have short blonde hair cut round the shoulder's and I think you could say im quite tall. Ok I give in, im small.

I have green eyes, im not pretty and I don't let anyone think otherwise, I actually don't know why I have a boyfriend, if I were a boy I wouldn't go anywhere near myself. I felt eyes on me while I thought, I turned to be watched by Shane with a cigarette in his mouth, despite the fact people say 'Smoking doesn't make you look cool.' In Shane's case it makes him look so damn sexy, very mysterious.

He raised his eyebrows at me probably wondering why I was staring.

''Hey.'' I said slightly tossing my hair back and standing close to him. He kissed my forehead, hesitating slightly.

''Sup?'' He replied popping the p slightly.

He opened the door for me and I jumped in as I watched him walk to the otherside.

As we were driving back to our apartment I gazed up at Shane through the mirror thinking about how we met.

-Flashback-

I was in college eating my very tasty bagel in the main hall when I heard someone whisper from behind me. ''You know your not supposed to eat in a presentation.'' I felt the hot breath on my neck.

I turned to see a boy with dark messy hair and a baseball cap on back to front, he dressed sort of like a dj but with a hint of classy. Which soon turned out to be Shane Dickson.

''Whatever Sherlock.'' I smirked.

''You have pretty eyes.'' I heard him whisper again, no-one ever told me I had pretty eyes before so immediately grinned and turned back to him.

''Thankyou, Im Jane.'' I flciked my hair back and watched his every move.

''Your welcome Jane, im Shane.'' He laughed.

''What's funny?'' I asked raising my eyebrow.

''Our name's rhyme, I guess were soulmates.'' He winked and pulled me up from my seat when the presentation was finished.

I let him lead me away and he too me to one of the college room's. He sat down on a single bed in a very messy room may I just add. That's the place I got to know Shane better.

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''You alright?'' Shane's voice interuppted my flashback.

''Yeah.'' I mumbled trying to smile as we parked outside the building our apartment was in.

I watched him walk up the staircase an took a turn to our door.

I slowly followed and sat myself down on the sofa bed in the living room. He threw his key's on the counter and sighed opening the fridge.

''Im going to the shop, we need food, you want anything?'' He asked grabbing his key's again.

I shook my head and layed back quietly, I heard the door shut then a tear slid down my face. I don't even know why I was crying, at least Shane was around, even if we don't talk properly or have a happy relationship at least he's in my life and not in someone elses. That sounds mean but I really would be fuming with jeaousy if he even thought about someone else. He could be cheating on me for all I know. Gosh im so insecure.

I watched the clock ticking slowly and quietly, as more tears started to fall.

I couldn't help but cry, I really missed being loved, I know he probably does love me but niether of us show it, I bet if people met us they would think were just friends. I really don't know what to do, sometimes I push myself to break up with him but when im about to say ''I think we should take a break.'' Or ''I don't think I love you anymore.'' I look up at his eyes and I see the hint of upset and I can tell he's nervous so I just change the subject. I don't want to hurt him, not at all because if he said to me ''We need to talk.'' I'd be upset and nervous too because we all know what those 4 shitty word's mean. I nearly cried when he told me he loved me for the first time it ached with happiness and excitement inside. I know that I do love him but im scared that he may have just changed his mind. Who would love their girlfriend if they never kissed them, didn't go on dates with them, acted like a friend and didn't really talk. I wouldn't.