FOOLS

06: emptiness. (pt. 1)

she sleeps all day, dreams of you in both worlds. tills the blood, in and out of uterus. wakes up smelling of zinc, grief, sedated by orgasm. orgasm heightened by grief. god was in the room when the man said to the woman, "i love you so much, wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in." sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth, she'd whisper, "oh my god." that too, is a form of worship. her hips grind. pestle and water, cinnamon and gloves. whenever he pulls out, lost.

dear moon; we blame you for floods, for the flush of blood. for men who are also wolves. we blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.

/

HOSEOK DOESN'T pick up on the first ring. neither the second, nor the third. but the fourth time, she finally hears his groggy voice semi-angrily answering his phone. "hello?" rosalie falls back onto her soft couch, and juno underneath her snores louder than she was before. the television is playing still, but the volume has been lowered since rosalie ceased to find it in her to sing; her voice had a certain raspiness to it when she spoke now. she blinks, remembering who was on the phone after he repeats himself.

"oh. hi, hobi." for a moment, she forgets her reason for calling him. for a moment. he figures out who called him quickly, his annoyed voice turning into one of concern,

"what the- rosie?" she hears him sit up, can hear the click of a lamp as he does so, checking the time on his alarm. "it's after 3 am, is-is there anything wrong? should i call jimin? where's haeran?" he's up now, scratching his head and yawing, awaiting her response. it didn't phase her at how concerned he was; but let this be a day of the past, and jimin would just be coming home. a scowl appears on her face then, at the thought of him. it still stung.

"no. do not call that. . . that fool." her eyes roll as she improves the grip of her phone, "and haeran is fine." hoseok pauses on the other line, she was drunk, of course, but fool? not even the nights the three of them spent drunk as hell on the floors of her living room has she said that to describe jimin.

his stomach churns uncomfortably, and he swallows harshly before he speaks, "fool? what do you - what do you mean, rosie?"

he hears her scoff, the sound of leather stretching against bare skin. "yes, a fool. he cheated on me, and had the nerve to think he wasn't going to get caught. what the hell else would he be? a genius?" she scoffs again, moving juno's head from the side of the couch and onto a pillow, "he's a ... a damn fool. a fucking idiot. oh my god, i h-hate him." her mind doesn't recognize the power of the words she just released, but nothing but what was happening now mattered anyway. she can't taste the venom on her tongue at the moment, because the alcohol has numbed her tastes. she's just numb, and she hates it. there was a pit in her stomach and all she wanted was to remove it; but she couldn't reach it no matter how hard she tried. she was too empty to even fully care.

all means of sleep begone, hoseok stood, rosalie's words roaming through his head so quickly he needed to mentally slow down to understand them. jimin cheated? on rosalie? it really was the weirdest thing to even imagine, because this was the same guy who broke into tears before she even finished walking down the aisle. for fuck's sake, hoseok literally went to his wedding. what the hell? he shook his head, detecting rosalie's speech and her slur of words; she was probably somewhere unsafe, drunk as hell, suffering from her heartbreak. hoseok feels a bit of respect leak out from what he held for jimin then. no one should be able to make rosalie feel that way. she was always the strong one; no one should be able to wear that away. especially not jimin, her husband.