n o t e :
welcome to ambiguity.
my own personal thought/story diary where i'll share short and meaningful pieces of my writing over the years with you. everything i share will be completed and a stand alone unless i state otherwise. if you happen to like a particular set of stories/story and would like me to continue it (except this one) please leave +1 at the end of each section and i might consider it. this will get daily updates since i have so much uncompleted and wayward pieces floating around my computer so stay tuned and make sure you add this to your library. thank you for the on going support.
i love you all.
dedication : to noelle, thanks for making me feel okay again
insomnia ; habitual sleeplessness
1. t h e b e g i n n i n g
sometimes i lay awake for hours at night. staring at the ceiling in the dark, till dawn breaks and the faint trickle of light that enters through my windows allows me to just make out the cigarette stains that cover the white plaster.
if you look closely enough the stains make a skewed heart shape. one side is larger than the other, it looks a little upside down but if you really use your imagination you can see a heart. i wonder if that was the intention? that when the billows of smoke puffed out of your lips it was their destiny to create such an interesting shape on my ceiling, forever reminding me that you were here.
on my bed.
actually, the more i look at it the more broken it becomes. a little like me i suppose, but while you created this heart, you broke mine in two.
it's funny how these things work. if you really think about it.
2. t h e m i d d l e
i remember you standing outside of the science building the other day, you were angry at something. i could tell from the way your fingers were curling together, digging into your palm slightly. i wasn't sure what to do, so i stood there and waited for you to calm down. when you're angry you have this negetive energy about you. so i think it's best that i stay back.
it took a while but i waited. i didn't care how long i had to wait for, i just wanted to make sure you were okay. but then she came along, her long black hair dangling at her shoulders, sweped to one side and trickling in the soft breeze.
i could see you visibly relax. your shoulders slumped forward slightly, you let out a long sigh and you ran your hands through your hair. you only ever did that when you were nervous and she made you nervous. i could tell. but you looked so calm, you laughed even, despite being angry only a few seconds ago.