'' ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴜɪᴛ ɪs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛʜᴇ sᴡᴇᴇᴛᴇsᴛ.''
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In which heartbreaker Sirius Black finally understands what it means to love someone you can never have.
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"I'm marrying your best friend Sirius!"
"Yeah, well you should be marrying me."
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SIRIUS BLACK HAD ONLY DATED ONE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE. Seraphine Oxley had been an enigma to his 15 year old self. Sure, he had his fair share of feminine company but Seraphine had been experienced. A beautiful seventh year, with a deep love for Quidditch and Rock & Roll, she had stolen Sirius' heart the minute her onyx eyes had met his.
She had been born and raised in Japan until she moved to her fathers homeland at age 8. Despite not having remembered much of her birthplace, many saw her as an accomplished foreigner who had seen the world. And Sirius had been enamoured.
The 'relationship' had lasted one month, but it was still the longest one Sirius had ever been in. She had broken it off due to her impending graduation, and she also didn't want to be tied down as she traveled after Hogwarts. At first Sirius had been heartbroken, he was quite dramatic about it all if he was being honest. It wasn't until Seraphine had actually graduated and left did Sirius realise it hadn't been love at all.
Everything about the relationship had been physical. There was no romance or getting to know one another, only snogging in broom closets and late night rendezvous in abandoned classrooms. That was why he was so nervous when he and Joséphine took the carriages to Hogsmeade.
Sirius had no idea how he was supposed to act, or how a date usually went. He wasn't used to anything even remotely romantic, not exactly having the best example with his parents. His mother and Father had hated each other for as long as he could remember. Since he was young they never exchange secret smiles, or looked at each other with something other than contempt. When he was 9 he had caught his mother brutally hexing his father for the first time, it wasn't until later on that he realised what domestic abuse was or what constituted as a toxic relationship.
All he knew was that was exactly what his parents marriage was.
He tried to rationalise it when he was younger, their marriage had been an arranged one, between cousins nonetheless. Maybe his mother had loved someone before his father but never got the chance to pursue anything because of Pureblood norms.
Although, Sirius couldn't see his mother loving anyone other than herself. She had always been cold and unforgiving where his father had been distant and unaffected. If he had to choose between the two, it would obviously be his father as his mother was too scary to even think about, although his father was no better.
He had always been afraid of his family, though he guessed it was more of being afraid he'd turn out like the lot of them. That was why he stayed away from relationships. Not wanting to eventually resent the person he chose to spend his time with. His whole life had lacked intimacy, so he didn't know how to give it or receive it without being suspicious.
He always felt people had an agenda when it came to him. They always wanted something. Whether it be for his looks, his families social status or even his own popularity. He was used to being defensive because he never wanted to get hurt.
