Secrets (Letter 3) *NEW*

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NOTE:  Feel free to check out the audiobook by clicking the link above for some good music and an awesome performance by kaelking12!

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NOTE: Feel free to check out the audiobook by clicking the link above for some good music and an awesome performance by kaelking12!

Elias

Time's passed and I wonder how you are.

Five months still seems so far away

And I can't be there for now

Still stuck in this place wondering how you're doing, growing, not knowing if I can be enough

But I can't wait to see you...

With anxiety and anticipation

Some anger and frustration

building,

In ME.

Yet, here I am, not mincing

my words

for this girl

I've yet to see

But she's not to blame...

Only ME.

And my stupidity.

I'm scared even though I care too much already

To provide

enough for you to rely

On ME.

Your life to be.

Is too much to carry

But the thing I find scary is

Not knowing

If I'm enough

Why ME?

I ask

unable to mask my worries.

This life before me

Past one behind me

Still casts a shadow of doubt.

Then, I see, envisioning.

Your mouth

and hair

and nose

and eyes

These little things

and the world that lies behind them

A future but

I'm not so sure

Of ME.

But I'll fight

I promise

Day in and day out

to never be

like that man I'd seen

Day in and day out

Growing up without

an example.

The life I give

A past I can't forgive

Or forget.

But no matter how much I want it back

I can't let my wants

Run ME.

anymore,

For one

thing now matters more

But I can't ignore

either of YOU.

The TWO.

You, who I call a part of me.

a half of a whole

fully made soul

entirely innocent

Yet the very thing that sent me away

from YOU,

The part of my heart

That just can't depart

From a past that never got to start.

A part of my soul

That, at first, didn't know

It could love

again.

YOU sent life back to a soul near death

This full-fledged

purpose of living

back to the surface

reigniting

ME.

Everything I needed

to survive

and feel alive

again.

Still, sadder is the truth

That it doesn't matter what

YOU'VE done

because now

I have to be done

With YOU

***

(Thank you guys once again for coming back today to read/listen! Can't wait to post yet another fabulous letter written by kaelking12 tomorrow (AUGUST 30th)! Are you sweating yet?!?! More intensity tomorrow!

PS: Kristen and I wanted to make sure we thanked those of you guys who are still with the book. We are truly grateful that you guys always read and leave such fantastic comments for us. We appreciate every single word of your positivity and encouragement. We took a long break from Wattpad and honestly we're humbled and grateful everyday that you guys are still here. Thanks for continuing to have faith in us! We will give you an ending to this book that we certain hope is worth the wait :)!

#REALTALK QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

1. Are you nervous for Alex yet? :P.

2. Who are the you's Elias is talking about! There's this "You/you" and another YOU. Let's see if you guys can figure out the mystery. You did an awesome job in the last one and we saw that some of you were totally on the money (but we're not gonna say who mwhahaha).

PS: Thanks for answering these! We really love reading your responses. You guys are fantastic readers and it's amazing how well you know the characters!

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