These jokes work kinda good for each other when you really think about it. So I'm putting them together.
Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?" "The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live." "And the bad one?" "I’ve been trying to reach you for two days."
Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."