I feel so empty, I don't want to be with anyone but Johnny. My heart is palpitating of pain, it hurts more than when my mom left me to be honest. I already missed him because he wasn't with me all day, I was waiting to see him. I wish he could have at least left me on a good note. My heart feels like pounds when I remember the look on his face when he left me. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and never let go, he isn't ever going to know. Harry's voice keeps mumbling in my ear, I've completely zoned him out.
"Harry I don't want to be here", I say once we arrive at his house.
"I'm not really asking you Iris", Harry says surprising me, but I keep a blank face.
Out of all the times harry decides to play this game, he picks now.
"Harry stop! I'm not in the mood", I shout.
"Fine let's play it your way I am going to sit here in the car until you decide to talk", He says slamming the car door.
"Harry stop!" I scream looking out the window.
"Nope", He refuses.
"Stop you can't help me at all! I am hopeless please understand!" I say surprised at the words that run out of my mouth.
"You're not hopeless, the world is", He answers with his thick rich accent.
I hear it repeat in my head you're not hopeless, the world is, that a lie though. I just thought over each and over single word he said. How would he know? I never thought a guy like Harry would ever be able to say answers like that.
"Harry stop lies don't help with anything. Trust me when I tell you I am hopeless nothing can fix me, I'm broken glass", I explain.
I want to stop myself from telling him, I have told him to much. With every single word I am telling him I am showing him my weakness. The side I told myself I would never show anyone, literally I think I have to kill Harry now.
"Listen to you I may be this happy person who has nothing going on and treats woman like they are trash, use them for a night then, forget their names, but boy are you wrong", Harry says almost reading my mind.
"No, don't worry", I say.
"Really?" He smirks.
"Yeah, you seem like you would remember their name", I answer.
"Iris!" He shouts.
"What?" I shout back.
"Stop! Open up go ahead" He says making his eyes big.
"Who are you for me to open up to you?" I ask with a bit of anger.
"I'm a guy, the same guy who was born and raised in Holmes Chapel, that grew up with his mom and sister", He says raising his hands and bringing them down quickly.
"Yes, and I don't know that guy", I shrug.
"Why do you want me to open up to you so badly?" I question.
"Because Iris you're able to hide your real self from other but not me and I want to help you see that other side of you", He says boiling my blood.
"Let me tell you something. You. Can't. Change. Me that is what you're trying to do", I spit.
"Why do you always look at things from a negative point of view?" He asks.
"I don't maybe their just is no positives", I shrug.
I'm really started to feel my blood boil, I want to get out of this car right now. Harry keeps talking and talking, I just want to be alone.
"Give me an example of a so called 'bad' scenario and I'll give you a positive", He smiles.
"When my mom left me! Then, made my dad an alcoholic, selfish person!" I shout.
I can't believe what just came out of my mouth, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. I hate the way I'm feeling, I can't take back the words I said. I hate myself, even more than I already did.
"Well umm I guess it got you to meet Johnny", He says clearing his throat.
"Shut up! Right now! Johnny is gone! I wish you would leave too!" I shout feeling a tear drip on my thigh.
"I'd be a jerk if I left you right now", He says not making eye contact with me.
"No you'd be a person who is minding their own business. I don't want you to be my friend or whatever" I say wiping my non-stoping tears.
"Listen I know the answers your heart wants to say so you don't even have to reply to me", He says with a somewhat serious smirk.
I can't do this anymore, I'm getting out of the car. I yank the car door handle, it doesn't open. That dummy locked it.
"Open this damn door right now Styles", I say and he gives a devilish smirk.
How many of those is he going to give me a day? Each one says something, and they all manage to revel his deep dimples.
"Give me a reason why", He says lifting his eyebrows.
"Because i hate you and don't want to be here", I say with a sarcastic tone.
"You love me and are in fear of what you will do alone", He says correcting me.
Who does this man think he is? How the hell does he even know? I am very scared of whats to come after I leave this car, I'd be alone. I guess Ted's will be my new home, and I fear of gulping down that alcohol, it's so tempting right now.
"Shut up", I mumble.
"You really like lying to yourself", He says running his hand through his hair.
"You really like pissing me off. Listen your girlfriend is going to be upset so let me go home and live my life and I finally know I will never see you again", I scoff.
"Well if that was true congratulations you just found a positive of Johnny leaving", He says with a blank face.
"You're pissing me off!" I scream.
"Who told you I had a girlfriend?" He says ignoring my last remark.
"Why you assuming? Is it because I'm cute?" He says sarcastically.
"Is it because I'm famous? Or is it because I spend time at Ted's?" He adds.
I feel angry at the fact that I can't answer him or reply back.
"No it's for other reasons", I lie.
"Stop lying", He says.
"Harry I could care less about you right now, I want nothing but my brother", I say and truthfully I just want Johnny right now.