Tattoos- Vikklan

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Lachlan's P.O.V.

I traced the ink that was running across my skin like a river, beautiful, twisted colours that told my story in pictures and thin lines that ran rivets into my pale skin. I tilted my head, glancing over at the cinnamon skinned boy beside me, whose arms were covered in his life story and special moments.

Vikk was sitting beside me, his attention focused on the ginger cat that was sitting in his lap and his arms covered in twisted pictures, telling the story that no one wanted to hear.

A snarling tiger, pouncing towards the viewer of the picture. It was his father, the man who had destroyed his life just by existing. The bruises that had covered his skin for years upon years were long gone but the mental versions of the marks were still there in the form of nightmares, panic attacks and anxiety.

The tiger, which covered his upper left shoulder, was one of his latest tattoos. He had never found the courage to think of his father before that, but the tiger represented him now. He was scary, yes, but he could no longer harm him. The tiger was in a cage and wasn't going to get out.

Two bluebirds perched on a wire, on a little bit bigger than the other. They were nestled together on his right forearm, where he could look at them all the time. They were his brothers, both older than him, and he had so many good memories of them so it was a permanent mark.. They were free now, no longer in this world.

He had loved his brothers when they were alive and he still did, even though neither of them made it past 16 years old. He still had the last photo of the three of him on his bookshelf, worn with age and faded with the light but he never put it away or replaced it.

A ladybug on the inside of his left wrist, is flight with a tree in the background. His mother, finally free from the tree that was all the people that held her back.

Vikk didn't have contact with his mother anymore. He still loved her but she couldn't take care of him anymore, leaving him with relatives at 17 years old. She was free, and that was all that mattered to him.

6 different flowers, a daisy for Simon, a daffodil for Ethan, a white rose for Tobi, a sunflower for Josh, a blue magnolia for Harry and an orchid for JJ. They each had their own personalities and therefore they each had a different flower.

The flowers were all expanding from the same vine and they were spiralling down his right bicep.

4 species of butterflies, a bright orange Monarch for Preston, a tiny Holly Blue butterfly for Rob, flying in tangent with Preston's, a Red Flash butterfly for Mitch and green Swallowtail butterfly for Jerome. Each boy had picked out their own butterfly and they were flying around the Sidemen's flowers.

The flowers and butterflies covered his entire right bicep with several other plants in the background, but it was the most colourful area of his tattoo sleeves.

A simple outline of two intertwined hands, ours I assumed, but Vikk had never said, which was just below the tiger on his shoulder.

The YouTube play button, above the butterflies and flowers and it was almost a title for the things below.

His channel logo in high detail just above the ladybug.

The quote "today is a good day" in italics, right beside the intertwined hands.

A tiny version of the Sidemen logo in the middle of the flower bush.

Another quote "Tomorrow is yet to come." on the opposite arm from the first quote in the same place.

A perfect pink heart in the middle of his left forearm.

And our names, linked with tiny gold sparks.

I had the same tattoo in the same place on my left wrist, whereas he had his one on his right wrist. It was the only tattoo that we had the same and although we had other tattoos that were representative of the other, it was personally my favourite.

My tattoos were similar, with the same butterflies and flower representing the Sidemen and the remainder of the Pack and 4 birds flying across my arms the represented my mum, dad, brother and sister.

There were a lot more flowers and plants on my arms and it was mostly green with several species of plants that I knew or had some sort of connection to. I loved the look of nature and Vikk had been calling me flower boy for as long as I could remember, just because of my tattoos.

"the hardest goodbye 11-5-14"

That one was inscribed on my shoulder, commemorating the death of my best friend. He never saw that he was worth it, and I never wanted to forget him.

A tiny hummingbird on the inside of my ring finger.

A hot air balloon, trailing the word freedom.

The YouTube play button in black and white.

Roses, covering the entirety of my upper arm.

A black bear sleeping with her cubs.

A lion, mouth open, roaring in the brightest colours I had. That one was on my chest.

A forest of trees and vines covering my chest and running down my left side, tied together with the quote "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

And my favourite tattoo of mine, the one that had the most meaning to me, was a tiny semi colon on the inside of my right wrist. Some people would know what it meant right away, and the scars that weren't tattoos told another story, before I tried to take my own life.

The semi-colon represented a pause in my story that I choose to put there.

It could have been a full stop.

It very nearly was.

But it wasn't.

I kept going, and my tattoos showed that story, the story that I was brave enough to keep on writing even though I wanted nothing more than to close the book and forget about it. I thought it wasn't worth it. I thought I wasn't worth it.

And then a boy came along and proved me wrong.

He gave me the courage to keep writing my story, our stories linking along the way and he showed me things I never thought I could see. I saw the world in so many different ways and I realised that it was okay. It was okay to pause in your story, but don't end it.

The end of the story isn't yours to decide. Don't make that choice to end it too soon.

I wrote this because I need something to get my spirits up. I want lots of tattoos in a few years when I'm old enough to get them on my own, to tell the story that people don't know about me. I know that I could have used this message a while ago, so I hope this helps someone to see what I very nearly didn't.

It's okay to pause. It's okay to not know where to go next. It's okay to be lost.

Don't take that risk. Please.

I'm still here, even if it's only by chance. Things will change. Things will get better one day, I promise. Take it from someone how was down so deep that they couldn't see the light anymore, and now I finally see it. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying. So for those who were like me, it's okay.

It will get better. I promise.

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