Hues of Love

Part 29

"You want Arsh, don't you? That is why you are proposing me. How convenient isn't it? Taking away my belief on marriage and asking my hand in the same?" mused Khushi, tearing her gaze away from him and looking at their children playing happily.

Arsh was an introverted child since his birth. Be it hunger or happiness, it was his set of expressive eyes which voiced out his emotions rather than his actions and seeing him rejoicing and enjoying himself filled in immense guilt in Khushi's already heavy heart. She was aware that the kids did not deserve a fate like their parents had chosen for them but she could bring herself to trust the man whom she loved and the father of her children.

"Took away your belief on marriage? Khoosi, I genuinely love you and my proposition is based on my feelings for you not because that will give me the custody of Arsh," explained Arnav, moving in front of her while she turned her face away in frustration.

She hated herself for punishing her children for mistakes of their mother's and father's. But she could not help but hate him more for breaking her internally in multiple ways through guilt in every step of their relationship.

"Rati was your companion for fourteen years. Remember the time you reiterated the length of that duration to me? After fourteen years of togetherness, you realized that you never loved her- your best friend in the past, your only girlfriend and your wife of eight years," pointed Khushi, her face set into stoic emotion.

"Khushi, you are different, this," Arnav said, pointing the space between them,"this is different. How can you assume in that manner?"

"What is the surety that you would not realize that what you have for me is not love? When you were not sure of your past or present, how can you assure me of the future? The man who is not sure of his first love, how will he give the right to someone as his last love?" she questioned, setting her heart into stone and forcing her heart to ignore her teenage heartfelt fantasy of receiving a proposal from Arnav Singh Raizada.

He felt destiny mocking at him when Karma bit him hard. He had questioned Rati's love innumerable times in the past few months when he had himself never loved her. The all-consuming fire which ignites when one's beloved questions the very love directed towards them had engulfed Arnav into its unmerciful embrace. He writhed, whimpered and wallowed in the emotion he had plunged Khushi into numerous times as the fate he had bestowed on Rati caught up to him.

"It is proof which you need, isn't it?" prompted Arnav, his voice cracking and feeble enough to cause a flicker of concern in Khushi's teary eyes.

"You call it proof, Arnav, and I call it assurance but as they say actions speak louder than words so can you do anything to assure me of your good intention and love?" replied Khushi, hoping that the destiny is merciful enough to unite the lovers which it had brought close.

"So be it, Khoosi. You taught me how to love in the truest sense. I might be a bad husband but definitely neither a bad lover nor a bad student. I promise you, I will convince you of my intentions and feelings and win your hand," vowed Arnav, cupping her chin and looking deep into her eyes, searching for any trace of the unconditional love which floated in those hazel orbs which made him feel alive every time he has had the privilege to look at them.

Involuntarily and instantaneously, she felt herself gravitating towards his warmth. The upheaval of thoughts which he incited ensured that her body and soul elicit the same response to their proximity every time but her mind took the reins away before she could find her solace in his arms.

The sane part of her reminded her of his errors, forcing her to pull away from his grip, against her will. Whether it was her mind trying to ease her guilt or trying to build up her hatred as a defense mechanism, she knew not but she was sure that if Arnav's love was true, her mind would surrender with any hesitation and peace would finally be hers to cherish.

Her unconscious yet conscientious rejection was just the push Arnav needed in the right direction.

"You get the custody of both the children, Khoosi. When I had thought in the beginning that I will raise them up alone, I had already taken away maternal affection from them through my decision. When that is not wrong, leaving both the children to the mother also wouldn't be wrong since I am sure that you will be able to care for them much better than me," announced Arnav, his eyes stuck to the pair of blessings which had landed in their lives.

Khushi's maternal instinct and her selfishness regarding the same prevented her from arguing with the father. She did not want him to step back and take away the children from her. She had lost enough in the course of winning her self-respect and she had no wish to lose further for the sake of etiquette.

Arnav's walkout plunged her into more than just loneliness; a storm of myriads emotions threatened to take away every bit of her sanity and living force but she knew that she was anchored to the mortal world due to the two chains that bound her with their wobbly hold.

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The Next Day,

"Sona, Arnav's parents have come here. They are seeking your hand in marriage for Arnav. They are not ready to accept any explanation or argument. I think you should come down and speak to them," said Khushi's father, unknown to the fact that Khushi had stopped listening out of shock after his first few words.

Memories spiraled her consciousness into their midst as she reminisced the words of Swati during her stay in Shillong.

--FLASHBACK--

"I don't remember the time I have seen Arnav speaking to his parents last time. Their final civil conversation and meet was during his marriage. After that, Arnav got to know that his father made Rati's father sign a permanent contract with the Raizadas and he swore to never speak to them. Although they had been very wrong on different levels, they surely love their son a lot. They never stepped into their own house ever again since their son had left them nor did they take any other decision with respect to their company. They abandoned everything and started living in a village with almost no facilities. Feelings, they are truly weird and make people do even weirder things," narrated Swati, a whimsical smile dancing on her lips.

--FLASHBACK ENDS--

The mere fact that Arnav had reached out to his parents for her sake after years was overwhelming to say the least. He had abandoned his biggest dream and embraced his worst enemy, and Khushi felt bliss of an unimaginable ecstasy fill her senses and her nonchalance and facade melted out of her eyes.

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Should Khushi trust Arnav?

I am not going to rant, don't worry. So many of you had pointed out that Khushi had been a selfish mother to leave her child back with Arnav and walk out. I mean, isn't that the whole point of a surrogate? Yes, she left after winning the contract where it says that she would be the legal mother of the child but end of the day, she was signed up as a surrogate. Her reason was obviously not to punish Arnav but keep her self-respect intact from his revenge plan.

Arnav accusing her for abandoning the children was equally weird since he had himself sent the contract which says that she would not be able to meet him ever. It is a different matter that he changed it to make sure that she signs the contract to begin with and the fact that he keeps changing his stand.

So my question: After seeing that Khushi ensured in numerous ways, like sending mother's milk and entrusting the child to Swati and Rachna, that her child is in safe hands(read in the hands of the man who could go to any extent to have children), how good or bad of a mother is she?