Infinite - Jake T. Austin Love Story

37: Technology is Essential

Days feel like months without her. Weeks feel like an eternity.

I am all alone in bed, not wanting to speak to anyone. Nothing really important had happened. I've dragged myself to go to the studio, but I was late half of the time since she left. On the first day back, I was a few hours late, so they got David to talk to me. In that time, I gave him a black eye, but he didn't mind because he believed he deserved that. Apparently, after Lara's outbreak two days before, he took the time to understand what happened. We spoke for a few hours, and I told him about Quinn. He honestly didn't know anything about what went through Quinn's mind, and he said that Quinn changed his number after the party, and he couldn't reach him ever since. David honestly is happy for me realizing he shouldn't be interfering with my life. However, as soon as David and I made up, the video of me being drunk 'leaked' to the media by an anonymous viewer, but I didn't really care. Entertainment and paparazzi went crazy over it, but in the end, it gave me good publicity because whoever sent it - that asshole Quinn I'm assuming - forgot to crop out the video, giving Anna Sophia Robb more of the attention and hate instead of me.

But as I am reminded about that video, my mind drifts back to my girlfriend. Lara hasn't made contact with me ever since that day; well, she practically can't because I found out her mother has grounded her for 'staying out too late with her aunt' from my resources: Aubrey and Aunt Lea. Lara, with the help of her aunt, made so many excuses about going out together, when in reality, she was with me or Aubrey.

I want to tell Lara about this; I want to hear her voice as I explain that me and David are on good terms; I want to tell her that we've missed our monthsary, but I still got her flowers - they lay outside of Aunt Lea's garden: she planted them there as a reminder that I'm still with Lara, no matter how far away she is. I begged auntie and Aubrey to let me speak to her, but they couldn't because they have lost all contact due to her grounding, so instead, I sent her voicemails. I think I've cried for thirty three days straight now... I don't lose count. I try not to because I can't forget her last words to me, "Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."

So I hold on to the hope she gave me; I hold onto the smile she last sent me through text... I saved it as my background, knowing one day... Her face will pop up on my phone screen and I'll be able to hear her again. I may not know when, but I won't give up. My phone will ring one day, and when I answer it, I'll hear her. I'll be able to tell her everything... Everything will become easier, but for now, I need to endure the pain.

Another tear runs down my cheek... I thought my tears have run dry, but apparently, they haven't. Her voice echoes in my mind. Thirty-three fucking days have gone by, and I'm all alone - not knowing when I'll be able to hear her words.

I love you, Jake. Never forget that.

*
Point of View: Marian Lara Estrada
*

I quickly exit out of my aunt's car, not looking back. Jake parked right behind her, wanting to follow us to her home. I told him not to get out though: it's for his own good.

"Hello, my child. Lara. Pack up your things. We're leaving in twelve hours," she states as soon as I get my body through the door. Not even a 'how are you'; as soon as I step foot into Aunt Lea's house, I see my mother on the couch with her hands crossed over her chest, giving me an order. I quickly nod, squeezing onto my Minnie Mouse headband in my hand, and trudge up the stairs without another word. I feel tears stinging my cheeks as I make my way to the fourth floor into my bedroom - locking it - and look at my surroundings.

A plethora of images run in my mind: When I first led Jake up the stairs to the guest bedroom; when he knocked on my bedroom door to ask for some toothpaste; when he leaned against my bedroom door, staring at me with a smirk plastered on his face; when he sat on the floor as I fell asleep on my bed; when I woke up to him the next morning, a smile never leaving his face. The day I woke up after my attempt of suicide, he was still there for me. I feel my lungs closing in on me, so I walk to my closet trying to erase the images and return to what I have to do. I see all my belongings in its place inside the closet; it's as if I've never had another home, but now, it is being stripped away from me. This home is nothing but a glimpse of happiness, and now, everything will return to its reality as I leave this safe haven. I use both of my arms and throw all my clothes and materials into my suitcases, and right away, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Tears on tears streak my face, and it won't stIop anymore.